After all, it’s not just me who’s feeling the crunch. Indeed, wages are barely keeping pace with inflation and Credit Karma reports that almost half of Americans saw their financial circumstances worsen in the last year, with over 50 percent of people making it a goal to stick to a budget in 2026. And how is this affecting our relationships? The personal finance platform notes that 47 percent of Gen Z and 36 percent of Millennials have considered ending friendships because of spending discrepancies. Over a third have specifically reported that they have a friend who drives them to overspend and perpetuate a cycle of debt.

Personally, I don’t want to break up with any friends, but I also don’t need an activity to enjoy someone’s company. I even like doing free things, because, frankly, New York City is too expensive to keep paying for stuff I actually hate. But more broadly, I want to normalize not spending money when hanging out because it can create a socioeconomic dynamic that, at times, can prevent an otherwise lovely relationship from blossoming (see the data above). It can’t be an all-or-nothing situation where not being able to meet for weekly drinks (an easy $100 tab in NYC) casts someone out of a friendship.

If you, too, want to have fun with your friends without feeling like you’re blowing a hole in your bank account, here are some tips. Remember that free doesn’t mean less fun. It just means more creativity.

1. Suggest a Free Activity

Stokkete/Shutterstock

Right now, terms like “life admin date,” “emotional support shopping,” “errand date” and “parallel play” have been going viral. The concept involves inviting friends to accompany you as you execute daily life tasks. Maybe you both need to sit down and pay your taxes. Ask them to go grocery shopping with you. (Chances are, they’re out of eggs, too.) I really like the concept of “parallel play,” where you invite a friend over and do your hobbies together. For example, my friend invited me to their place so they could embroider while I scrapbooked, and we both could talk.

2. It’s OK to say “I’m Busy”

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In a previous article I reported, Credit Karma’s consumer financial advocate Courtney Alev stressed the importance of being able to say no.

“It’s easier said than done but try not to feel pressured to participate in expensive outings just because your friends want you to,” she told me. “At the end of the day, it’s more important to do what’s best for you and your finances.”

However, as she stated, it’s easier said than done. Sometimes the friend in question isn’t close enough for me to feel comfortable declining while citing financial reasons. And that’s where I’ve told myself it’s OK to just keep it at an “I’m sorry, I’m busy.” No one’s entitled to know what you’re busy doing. A simple “Can’t make it!” excuses yourself without having to dig into the details.

3. Be Frank!

Vera Prokhorova/Shutterstock

There are times when I feel more comfortable laying out the fact that I don’t want to spend an unholy amount of money. For example, a group of close friends and I wanted to see a play, and we put one person in charge of finding tickets. She kept coming back with seats that were more than I was willing to spend, so finally, I wrote into the group explaining what my budget was and that I was OK if they wanted more expensive seats, but ultimately, I didn’t want to go badly enough to pay the premium price. That gave someone else in our group the freedom (I presume) to chime in, saying that her cap was similar to mine. And according to Alev, this was the right way to handle things.

“Other friends might even be feeling the same way you are and appreciate the opportunity to set expectations as a friend group,” she told me. “It’s better to have these conversations before you RSVP for that group dinner or that bachelorette trip so you don’t overspend or feel pressured to pay an amount you’re not comfortable with.”

4. Create a “Free” Third Space

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And finally, sometimes you must take matters into your own hands, which is what I did soon after moving to New York. In a city that basically hazes you with mandatory spending every time you walk out the door, I decided to start a free book club that meets in a hotel lobby once a month. Everyone, old-time regulars and prospective new readers alike, know that it’s a no-spend third space where all are welcome. In the warmer seasons we picnic in parks (BYOFood), in the cold months, we’re back in the hotel lobby (free and open to the public) or in someone’s apartment.

I'm Coming to Terms with Always Being in One-Sided Friendships

Based on a quick (and by no means comprehensive) office poll, about 60 percent of us have it—some were required by their buildings to get it. Among the 40 percent who don’t, the response was sort of like a collective shrug emoji: Most people conceded they probably should have it but never bothered to follow through.

Well, we decided to take this as a sign to dive into the topic. Here are a few things you may want to consider when exploring a renters insurance policy.

What Is Renters Insurance?

Personal property coverage is probably the main reason most purchase a renters policy. The coverage helps cover losses, damage or theft of your possessions up to a certain dollar amount. Keep in mind that your policy will exclude certain perils (such as earthquake and flood losses), limit coverage on some items (such as firearms and silverware) and might not cover a business in your home. In short, renters insurance:

• Helps Protect Your Belongings: State Farm describes renters insurance as “a type of security blanket for your security blanket.” It helps protect the things you own and love, from TVs and bicycles to laptops and even your favorite down comforter. It helps covers the cost of repairing or replacing that personal property in the event of damage, up to a certain amount.
• Covers Liability: Renters insurance also covers much more than just your personal property. The average policy typically includes a minimum of $100,000 in liability coverage. That means renters insurance may help cover a personal liability loss if you accidentally cause bodily injury to someone or damage their property. It may also help pay for necessary medical expenses if someone other than you is injured in an accident on your property.
• Provides for Temporary Living: If the unit you rent becomes uninhabitable due to a covered event, renters insurance may help pay for additional living expenses like hotels and meals while repairs are made.

What to Consider When Getting a Policy?

Renters insurance is relatively inexpensive. The average renter's policy costs about $12 per month for up to $35,000 in personal property coverage. That’s quality coverage for less than the cost of a few cups of coffee a week. Here are some tips to help you determine your insurance needs:

Knowing How Much Coverage You’ll Need

Completing a home inventory is a good way to determine how much property coverage you need. This inventory lists your possessions, along with details about their age, purchase price or current value and other identifying information. While you’re at it, take pictures or a video of your property.

Understanding Liability Limits

Your renters policy’s liability coverage may help protect you if someone injures themselves in your home. It may also help protect you in case you accidentally cause damage to others’ property. The typical renters insurance policy offers $100,000 in liability coverage. For renters, this amount is often sufficient. However, if you entertain company frequently at your home or if your assets exceed your limit, you should consider a coverage amount equal to at least the total value of your assets.

Choosing the Right Deductible

Your renters insurance premiums will reflect the deductibles you agree to pay. Lower deductibles typically mean higher premiums; higher deductibles typically mean lower premiums. When choosing a deductible, think carefully about the out-of-pocket costs that you are willing and able to pay.

Determining Your Rate

Finally, your location will play an important role in determining your renters insurance rates. Prices may vary based on your state and city. Your rates will also reflect the safety of the rental property itself. For example, an older, unrenovated building might have a higher risk of electrical and plumbing issues, and that may mean higher rates.

<sub>This is only a general description of coverages and is not a statement of contract. Details of coverage or limits vary in some states. All coverages are subject to the terms, provisions, exclusions and conditions in the policy itself, and in endorsements.

Actual annual premiums for renters insurance will vary depending on coverages selected, amounts of coverage, deductibles, and other factors.

State Farm Fire and Casualty Company
State Farm General Insurance Company
Bloomington, IL

State Farm Florida Insurance Company
Tallahassee, FL

State Farm Lloyds
Richardson, TX</sub>

For Your Home

So you just signed a lease (congrats!). If your landlord requires renter’s insurance, don’t panic. Our friend Terzel explains the why and for more detail on the how, State Farm is a great resource to assist in finding the right coverage for you to help protect your belongings. That includes everything from your guitar to, yes, your emotional support mug.

Why create a home inventory? Taking the time to list everything out can help you make home insurance and renters insurance coverage decisions and possibly expedite the claims process. These good boys know the deal.

For Your Savings

The idea of an emergency fund savings account may seem daunting, but it could help you with unforeseen expenses having to do with your home or car. Opening up a separate savings account is also a great way to help keep track of your finances.

For Your Car

Time for a new car? Exciting stuff, but don’t forget about auto insurance—more specifically, a policy that fits your needs and budget. A company, such as State Farm, can help explain the basics of car insurance so that you can drive off in the red convertible of your dreams, potentially *with* more confidence understanding the ins and outs of insurance and how to find the right policy for you.

For Staying Up to Date

Friendly reminder: Once you have the right home and car insurance for you, it’s still a good idea to meet with your insurance agent once a year to make sure your coverage is up to date. 

Every time I open Instagram, I find myself perplexed. As a millennial spender who frets far too much about financial security and the monthly status of her 401(k), I can’t help but linger a few extra seconds on wanderlust-y posts from Gen Z friends who, one week, are popping up in Paris; the next, sharing pics from a flight to Greece.

No, these aren’t aimless types who take life as it comes; nor are they the kind who are rolling in dough brought in by their day jobs. On the contrary, these are people who quite simply prioritize travel above all else, but manage to do it in a way that doesn’t leave them with a mountain of credit card debt on the other side. But how?

According to a recent report in The Guardian, it all comes down to priority spending. “Young adults are traveling, just not spontaneously and with an eye to putting money aside for the future,” per the piece, which also states that Gen Zers average three leisure trips a year despite earning less than $50,000 annually. In other words, experiential living is their goal and they’re going to find a way to make it happen, dammit.

But here’s the rub: Just because Gen Z is prioritizing shelling out to see a Taylor Swift concert in London vs. socking every spare bit of cash away for a down payment on a future starter home (perhaps a dated goal, given today’s housing market) doesn’t mean they’re fiscally irresponsible. On the contrary, this speaks to a greater generational shift, according to Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, founder of Mind Money Balance and Cash App’s financial therapist, not to mention a more modern budgeting approach. (Yes, Gen Z is managing to prioritize saving, too.)

“Older generations—millennials included—have always prioritized a financial safety net but also earning the right to rest through work,” Bryan-Podvin, who is a millennial herself, explains. “Vacations were something you did on a special occasion, not as an annual quarterly ‘must-have.’” That might explain why it’s so jarring to witness the frequency—not to mention, the luxeness—of all these Gen Z vacations. It’s not just a financial splurge, but chips away at PTO, too, something previous generations have been taught to hoard.

As for how they can afford it, Bryan-Podvin is quick to point out how accessible travel has become, both financially and logistically. “Today, you can compare flights, book a last-minute hotel and translate directions in real time from your phone,” she says. “Budget airlines are more common, short-term rentals are everywhere and TikTok can show you how to maximize travel rewards (such as credit card points) in 60 seconds.”

There are likely even more frugal financial moves going on behind the scenes. For example, members of Gen Z not only have a high-yield savings account, but also a vacation fund and a Roth IRA. “These are digital natives we’re talking about: They are doing things automatically or habitually that used to be more manual,” Bryan-Podvin says. Bottom line: Gen Z is much more comfortable with financial nuance.

On a social level, Gen Z is more at ease when it comes to being open about their spending plans. “This is the ‘therapy speak’ generation—they know how to name their feelings and their boundaries and that includes telling their friends, ‘I’m saving up for Greece, so I can’t go to the concert with you.’” (Per The Guardian, their savings mindset has also been shaped by events beyond their control such as the COVID-19 recession, a higher cost of living and crippling student debt.)

Which brings me to another fascinating aspect of this cultural shift when it comes to spending priorities. Perhaps it’s true that it was ingrained in older generations to work more and travel (and, therefore, spend) less, but younger generations—such as Gen Z—may feel more entitled to take a break. “They didn’t grow up with true downtime or work/life separation,” Bryan-Podvin says. “Older generations weren’t getting Slack messages at 8 p.m. or work emails during their kids’ soccer games on the weekends. Gen Z and millennials are navigating a work culture that’s ‘always on,” which leads them to see travel as a necessary reset in addition to being something fun.”

Hey, as long as they’re automating their savings, too, is prioritizing more weekends in Paris really a bad thing?

Going on a Multi-Generational Trip? Here Are 5 Rules to Keep Everybody Happy

The Couple Whose Car Caught on Fire (Yes, Seriously)

If anyone knows just how important car insurance is, it’s Katie and Cody (@highboyla). A few months ago, their car caught on fire right outside of their home, and in the middle of that chaos, they realized they had no clue how their car insurance deductible worked. Thankfully, she learned that after they paid their deductible, insurance would help them with the rest since their claim was covered—and now, they can apply this knowledge of deductibles moving forward for any curveballs that come up.

The Twenty-Something Who Needed to Know the Basics

Car insurance can be confusing to even the most seasoned insurance holders, and for the younger, twenty-something folks out there like Brianna (@briannaancheta), it can feel like trying to decipher Morse code. A deductible was explained to her in the simplest of terms, she feels prepared for any kind of issue that could arise—she only wishes she would’ve known sooner.

The One Whose Husband’s Bike Needed to Be Replaced

Sunnie (@sunniebrook) got a call no one ever wants to receive: her husband was the victim of a hit and run, and his motorcycle was completely destroyed. Her husband was fortunately OK, but they still had to deal with contacting their insurance company to file a claim for his bike. Sunnie shares how thankful she was that her State Farm agent walked her through everything in a matter of minutes, explaining how their deductible worked in their unique circumstance.

The Mom Who Didn’t Think She Had Time to Learn About Insurance Deductibles

Instagram

Chesley (@chesleycarele) is a busy mom of three—so between cooking, taking care of her kids and finding time for herself, she thought she’d never be able to digest the ins and outs of car insurance. But with the help of an article that explained deductibles, she now better understands the process of choosing a policy—and won’t be caught off guard if she needs to contact her insurance in case of emergencies.

What is a deductible in car insurance?

Simply put, a deductible is the amount that you agree to pay up front for a covered insurance claim. You often see deductibles on collision and comprehensive coverages, although there are other coverages that have deductibles depending on what’s available in your state.

For example: let’s say you have a covered loss and the cost to repair your car is $2,000. If your policy has a $500 deductible, you will be responsible for the first $500 and your insurer will pay the remaining $1,500.

How do car insurance deductibles work?

When purchasing your car insurance policy, you get to select a deductible. The deductible applies each time you file a claim. According to Kelley Blue Book, the most common deductible is $500. When choosing your car insurance deductible, think about how much you’re willing to pay out of pocket if you have a covered loss. Weigh that against the fact that higher deductibles generally mean lower premiums, but higher out-of-pocket costs. And lower deductibles generally translate to higher premiums.

It really comes down to your financial situation and what you’d feel comfortable paying out of pocket in case of an accident. You can ask a State Farm agent to run quotes with different deductibles so that you can compare and make the best choice for you.

When do you pay your car insurance deductible?

Your deductible may apply when you use your policy for a covered claim, typically at the time of repair of your damaged vehicle. If you were involved in an accident and another party was found at fault, you may be able to go through their insurance company for your repairs with no deductible incurred.

What car insurance should I consider?

Unfortunately, there’s no black and white answer to what car insurance you may need. It depends a lot on what coverages you need and the amount of deductible or policy limits you feel comfortable with. A State Farm agent can help you understand coverages and deductibles, compare options and find a policy that fits your needs and budget.

Meet the Experts

• Iva Naskove is an astrologer and tarot expert at Nebula, a spiritual guidance platform. With over a decade of experience, Naskove offers personal readings that help you understand the hidden influences shaping love, career, health, and personal growth.
• Alice Hu is a career astrologer and mindset coach. She is the founder of Your Saturn, where she uses astrology to help entrepreneurs redefine their identity, uncover what's holding them back, and upgrade their mindsets to create aligned, thriving businesses.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Halfpoint Images/Getty Images

Your best traits: You’re creative and you’ve got great ideas. More importantly, perhaps, is that you’re not afraid of making moves to ensure that those brilliant ideas come to life (often inspiring others to follow).

Your best jobs: Draw inspiration from high-octane positions that involve some risk-taking and adrenaline. Think venture capitalists, EMTs or personal trainers (even race-car drivers, if you're feeling particularly adventurous). Naskove tells me: “[Aries] also makes a great leader, but can come across as bossy due to [the sign’s] assertiveness. However, leadership roles in corporate environments, military service or competitive sports definitely suit [their] dynamic energy.”

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

PhotoAlto/Dinoco Greco/Getty Images

Your best traits: You’re calm and grounded and make those around you feel the same. Unsurprisingly, your love for the sensual and beautiful is unmatched, Naskove says. But, she cautions, don’t let your need—even passion—for comfort prevent you from trying something different.

Your best jobs: Hands-on positions like restaurateurs, interior designers, sommeliers or furniture makers are your jam. Something that would give you a balance between novelty (which you can find in the tactile and sensual aspects of the profession) and stability (the grounding sensation you get when doing these very things every day). Other possibilities: a real estate agent, chef, model, politician, investor, artist or banker.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

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Your best traits: You’re a master connector and communicator with a unique ability to bring people together from all walks of life. As Naskove puts it, “you think fast, talk faster, and never stop learning.”

Your best jobs: You’d do well in a profession that deals with a lot of personalities and is very frontward-facing and collaborative. Think makeup artists, stylists, translators or journalists (which you can do as a freelance gig on the side). Naskove recommends trying your hand at podcasting, tech support, teaching or copywriting, which would also suit your fast-paced, communicative energy.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

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Your best traits: You have what people call “creative vision.” Naskove explains that Cancer’s strongest trait is the ability to trust this vision, instead of shying away from it—no matter how far-fetched it seems. Because whether you’re privy to it or not, these ideas are coming from a deep foundation of past experiences (and aren’t as loony as they first appear).

Your best jobs: Draw inspiration from positions where the past and present intersect. “Let your creativity drive you,” Naskove says. Perhaps it’s time to put your pen to paper and try your hand at writing a fantasy novel. She also recommends careers like chef, therapist, family counselor and museum curator, noting that these jobs “allow you to nurture others with your deep sensitivity.” Similarly, Hu adds that Cancers can thrive in places like daycares, nursing centers and hospitals.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

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Your best traits: For you work and play are rarely separate. And honestly, it’s not a bad thing (though it can certainly lead to burnout at times). For better or for worse, you are extremely passionate and give yourself fully to everything you do—and in doing so you empower others to do the same.

Your best jobs: Professions where being authentically yourself (and even openly childlike, which is to say, curious and honest) are encouraged. Think marketing/sales, inspirational speakers or something in public relations—where you can channel your boundless energy into championing a larger cause or celebrating others. Other ways to harness your star power and charisma? Try acting, event planning, creative direction or social media influencing.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

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Your best traits: It’s all in the details for you. The tiny little things that most others don’t pick up on, you are able to cultivate into something bigger and more beautiful. Just don’t hold yourself back by getting too fixated on the pursuit of perfection. Trust that it’s already where it needs to be.

Your best jobs: As Naskove explains, Virgos do best in careers that demand precision, structure and critical thinking. “Professions like data analyst, medical researcher, pharmacist, quality control specialist, editor, and accountant align well with your methodical mindset,” she says. “You’re also a natural fit for roles such as nutritionist, healthcare administrator, environmental scientist, or project coordinator—jobs where your attention to detail, problem-solving abilities, and desire to improve systems can truly shine.” Hu cites some other classic positions, like COOs, project managers and chiefs of staff.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Witthaya Prasongsin/Getty IMages

Your best traits: Use your unique power of perspective to find equilibrium in your work—and in your work relationships. You are able to see the value of day-to-day efficiency, as well as the big-picture stuff that guides these very movements.

Your best jobs: Your ideal work environment is one that is constantly striving to improve itself—both visually and in terms of company values. Look at museum curators, cultural critics, graphic designers and pro-bono lawyers for inspiration, in addition to roles in the beauty or fashion space. “A mediator, fashion designer, wedding planner, or human rights advocate could also speak to [Libra’s] love of beauty and balance,” Naskove says.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

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Your best traits: You’re not afraid to go deep and face difficult professional situations head on. You have a strong gut feeling that drives your decisions, and it’s the type of intuition that will prove to be valuable time and time again.

Your best jobs: Explore professions that literally (and figuratively) dive beneath the surface to discover the inner workings of things, like surgeons, psychologists, social workers, detectives or archaeologists. Per Naskove, forensic scientists, sex therapists, occultists, and financial strategists also match [Scorpio’s] penetrating mind and emotional courage.”

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

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Your best traits: “[Sagittarius is] driven by curiosity and passion for life, spiced with a deep desire for freedom and adventure,” Naskove says. “Rather than getting bogged down in details, [this sign] thrives when exploring big ideas, broad horizons and new experiences.” You are optimistic and love learning—two traits that make you adept at creative thinking and open to embracing chance.

Your best jobs: Take a look into professions that cross boundaries and inspire endless learning. Per Naskove, your career options can range from pilot, flight attendant and adventure tourism to professor, private investigator, philosopher, international relations and even entrepreneurship.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

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Your best traits: You fight against the grain—which, as you know all too well, isn’t always the easiest path to take. But trust in your own authority and endurance and you’ll be able to knock down walls when others deem it impossible. Naskove says this sign’s motto is “slowly but surely.” Your empire isn’t going to be built tomorrow—and then again, neither was Rome.

Your best jobs: Look for leadership roles at any level—at work, in your PTA group, in your community (don't knock a potential career in politics just yet). You have the work ethic and drive to get things done (and exceedingly well at that). “Consider roles such as CEO, architecture, civil engineering, or military command,” Naskove advises. “[These are] all places where long-term goals and responsibility thrive.”

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

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Your best traits: Status quo doesn’t exist for you. You are a rule breaker and visionary who finds inspiration in the new and eccentric (when others might shy away from it). As Naskove explains, an Aquarius is always looking for possibilities and isn’t afraid to think outside of the box.

Your best jobs: Someone needs to do those “out there” professions: astronauts, inventors or technological innovators. “A UX designer, inventor, scientist, programmer, photographer, architect, designer, and entrepreneur might also appeal to your need to innovate and improve the future,” Naskove says.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

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Your best traits: There is no place for judgment in your world, Pisces—and it’s easily one of your best traits. “You are known for your charming personality, appreciation for meaningful connections and ability to bring positivity and encouragement to those around you,” Naskove explains.

Your best jobs: Look into professions that delve into emotions freely—like healers, spiritual leaders, musicians, poets and photographers. Naskove adds that Pisces can also consider going into journalism, painting, social work, therapy, teaching or plastic surgery.

The Energetic Boundaries Your Zodiac Needs for 2025—and How to Set Them

To say the tariff rollout has been complicated is an understatement at best. After a week filled with volatility, the White House announced a 90-day pause on reciprocal tariffs with a maximum 10 percent levy now attached to most countries. (China is the only exception—their tariffs now total 125 percent.) But the back and forth—which we expect will continue—is wreaking havoc on our spending habits and, frankly, our confidence. (Should we impulse shop? Save our pennies?) That’s why we turned to Stephanie Carls, retail insights expert for RetailMeNot, to help determine the purchases we should prioritize (and the ones we’re OK to hold tight on) as tariffs fluctuate.

Meet the Expert

Stephanie Carls is the retail insights expert for RetailMeNot as well as an award-winning social media strategist and expert content creator. She’s also a brand ambassador and video host for Ziff Davis Shopping, where she regularly covers shopping trends and discounts and deals.

First Things First: Avoid the Panic Buy

According to Carls, now is the time to shop smart, not scared. Tariffs are here and changing by the day, but that doesn’t mean you should blow your money without forethought. “Think about any big-ticket purchases you were aiming to make in the next six to twelve months,” she suggests. “If you have a few items on your list that you know may be impacted—i.e. they’re commonly produced outside the United States—it may be smart to buy them now before more price increases take effect.” (Smaller items, like paper towels or lipstick, will get more expensive, too, but at this juncture, they don’t necessarily require a rush spend.) So without further ado, here are six items Carls thinks it’s prudent to purchase ASAP.

1. A New Smartphone

Apple users in particular can expect to see an increase in costs, which is a tough pill to swallow given that smartphones aren’t exactly cheap. Ready to upgrade? It’s smart to do so now. The good news? Options abound—for example, the brand-new iPhone 16e.

2. Any Electronics

At this point in time, nearly all of our electronics are manufactured in Asia (or, at the very least, rely on Asian-made parts). This means that pretty much anything containing a battery or a microchip is certain to increase with the new tariffs. If anything from a new TV to a microwave to a Dyson vacuum is on your list, it could be smart to shell out now.

3. Clothing, Accessories and Shoes

Oof, most of the fabric we wear or leather we carry just so happens to be imported, which means it has the potential to be hit hard by tariffs. This means cheaper clothing from China will most certainly be hit, though luxury items from Europe could also be affected after the 90 day pause. In other words, if there are Chinese-made goods you buy on the regular—think T-shirts, kids pajamas, etc.—you may want to buy in bulk.

4. Baby Gear

Strollers, car seats, even toys are generally manufactured abroad. There’s a chance an exemption will be applied (at least some Congress members are fighting for it), but there’s also the chance it won’t, meaning prices could jump by 50 percent.

5. Furniture

Budget brands—often made and shipped from outside the United States—may take the biggest hit here, but locally produced items could also see a price increase. (Materials—like wood, metal, leather and more—are often sourced from outside the United States.) Even IKEA is anticipating an increase in prices.

6. Gaming Consoles

That Nintendo Switch you were aiming to replace for your kids? You may want to consider buying way way (way) in advance. You see, gaming consoles are yet another category where parts are made outside the United States. (In fact, pre-orders for the brand-new Switch, due out in June, have already been delayed because of tariff plans.)

1 Thing *Not* to Buy in Advance

Per Carls, items like food, water and basic medical supplies are always in demand and less likely to be affected by tariffs, with much of what we consume produced stateside. That said, inflation could affect food prices—such as the cost of eggs—as soon as summertime, so you may want to start bookmarking cost-saving recipes now.

Now’s the Best Time to Buy a Laptop—Here Are 5 Great Ones on Sale

Unlock $1,000 (or Higher) in Annual Value

The SoFi Plus premium membership offers a variety of features that can upgrade your finance game. For starters, SoFi Plus members could unlock $1,000+ in annual value across banking, investing, spending and more, helping inspire people like Kristi Romero (@kristiipartyof6) to take control of their finances. Even Kristi’s husband popped in during her video to say how much he loved learning about the SoFi Plus membership, saying SoFi Plus can be an incredible way for people to upgrade their finances.

But how can you unlock this extra $1,000+ in benefits? We break down some of the ways below.

You’ll Receive SoFi’s Highest APY

Who doesn’t want to make some passive income? Well, as pointed out by financial influencer McKenzie Mack (@mckenzie.mack), SoFi Plus members earn SoFi’s highest APY on savings balances (3.80%** APY on Bank savings balances, to be exact), helping you earn more on the money you already have without even having to do anything. Yep, seriously.

Receive Unlimited Sessions with SoFi Wealth's Team of Financial Planners

Austin Hankwitz (@austin.hankwitz) mentioned SoFi Plus also allows you to have personalized, one-on-one sessions with SoFi Wealth's team of financial planners so they can help you make a plan to achieve your goals. “Do you understand how expensive it can be to meet with a financial planner?” Austin asks. “I mean, this is awesome.” 

Get Unlimited 1% Matches on Recurring Deposits into Your Invest Account

Upon hearing about SoFi Plus’ added benefit of unlimited 1% matches (paid in SoFi rewards points) to SoFi Invest accounts, the only thing Fariha Nasir (@pennies_for_a_fortune) had to say was “Yes, please.” Enough said.

Get Unlimited 1% Matches on Recurring Deposits into Your Invest Account

Plus, as Kym Smith Jackson (@therealkym) (wife of football player Jeff Smith) calls out, getting a SoFi Plus membership won’t break the bank—you can sign up by setting up direct deposit with SoFi Checking & Savings at no extra cost. Or, you can pay a subscription fee of $10 per month for all these amazing benefits

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

PSA: newly subscribed SoFi Plus members have the chance to enter into their sweepstakes where SoFi is giving away a total of $600,000 (yes, for real) in prizes to help six winners achieve America’s biggest financial ambitions. Finance coach Haley Kowalewski (@femmefinancialcoaching) laid out all of the potential winnings: “Imagine getting cash to help you pay off a home, pay off your student loans, or fast-track your retirement?” Other ambitions to win cash toward include a bucket list vacation, paying for your wedding, or once-in-a-lifetime tickets to a sports or entertainment experience.

So, what are you waiting for? Getting your money right has never been easier, thanks to SoFi Plus—take it from these influencers.

_{**SoFi Checking and Savings and SoFi Credit Cards are products offered by SoFi Bank, N.A. Member FDIC. Loans originated by SoFi Bank, N.A., NMLS #696891 (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org). Equal Housing Lender.}

_{Brokerage products offered through SoFi Securities LLC, member FINRA/SIPC. Advisory services are offered through SoFi Wealth LLC, an SEC-registered investment adviser.}

_{SoFi Plus is a premium membership that gives members access to our best APY, discounts, rewards, and more when they set up Direct Deposit or pay the SoFi Plus Subscription Fee. Benefits are subject to change and may not be available to everyone. All terms and conditions at SoFi.com/terms-of-use/#sofi-plus applicable to the use of SoFi Plus apply. To learn more about SoFi Plus and available benefits and terms, go to SoFi.com/sofi-plus.}

_{SoFi members who enroll in SoFi Plus with Direct Deposit or by paying the SoFi Plus Subscription Fee every 30 days or with $5,000 or more in Qualifying Deposits during the 30-Day Evaluation Period can earn 3.80% annual percentage yield (APY) on savings balances (including Vaults) and 0.50% APY on checking balances. There is no minimum Direct Deposit amount required to qualify for the stated interest rate. Members without either SoFi Plus or Qualifying Deposits, during the 30-Day Evaluation Period will earn 1.00% APY on savings balances (including Vaults) and 0.50% APY on checking balances. Only SoFi Plus members are eligible for other SoFi Plus benefits. Interest rates are variable and subject to change at any time. These rates are current as of 1/24/25. There is no minimum balance requirement. Additional information can be found at http://www.sofi.com/legal/banking-rate-sheet. See the SoFi Plus Terms and Conditions at https://www.sofi.com/terms-of-use/#plus.}

_{Information as of January 2025 and is subject to change.}

_{Screen Images simulated}

_{$1,000 value: Terms apply. Value is not guaranteed and varies depending on benefits used. See assumptions and details at https://www.sofi.com/sofi-plus/} 

_{$10 subscription fee: Subscribers are billed every 30 calendar days based on the initial date of subscription.}

_{NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. 50 US/DC, 18+. Void where prohibited. Sweepstakes ends at 11:59 pm ET on 5/14/25. See Official Rules incl. alternate and free methods of entry and limits at sofi.com/powerofplus/#disclaimers. Sponsor: Social Finance LLC}

_{Based on a series of blinded surveys of financial memberships across banking, borrowing, investing, and credit cards. 900 consumers were asked to rank offerings based on the question, “Which financial membership brand is most rewarding?” Results as of January 2025 at sofi .com/plus-survey.}

But what if we told you there’s a one-stop-shop to manage your finances in one place and a financial membership that could unlock $1,000 in benefits across banking, investing, spending, and more? It exists—and we’re happy to report that the new SoFi Plus* is America’s most rewarding financial membership, all in one app. In case you’re unfamiliar, SoFi is the next-gen finance app that lets you bank, borrow, protect and invest your money all in one place. And luckily, they just released a new premium membership service—SoFi Plus—that will help users unlock unbelievable benefits, like earning the highest Annual Percentage Yield (APY) on your savings to unlimited one-on-one sessions with their team of financial planners, all at a truly unbeatable price (more on that later).

Here’s Why We Love It:

With SoFi, you can manage your finances all in one place, which is a game changer. Their new SoFi Plus premium membership offers a variety of features that can *majorly* upgrade your finance game. For starters, SoFi Plus members could unlock $1,000 (or higher) in annual value across banking, investing, spending and more. How, you may ask? We’re about to break it all down.

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

1. Get One-on-One Personal Finance Assistance

SoFi Plus unlocks the benefit of unlimited one-on-one sessions—specifically, appointments with SoFi Wealth's team of financial planners so they can help you make a plan to achieve your goals. It’s like having a therapist for your money goals—so whether you’re just getting started or planning for retirement, SoFi financial planners can help advise you on your unique needs.

2. Higher APY on Savings

Plus, SoFi Plus members get the highest APY on savings balances (3.80%** APY on Bank savings balances, to be exact), helping you earn more on the money you already have without even having to do anything.

3. Cash Back Rewards on SoFi Credit Cards

Those with SoFi Plus can also earn a 10% boost on cash back rewards when using SoFi credit cards, so you’re getting way more bang for your buck.

4. Unlimited 1% Matches on Recurring Deposits into Invest Account

Oh, and when you set up recurring deposits to SoFi Invest, you can earn an unlimited 1% match, paid in SoFi rewards points. When combined with the power of compounding returns, investing $7K a year for over 40 years could put you on a path to retiring a millionaire.

5. Discounted Tickets to Exclusive Events

Aside from monetary rewards, SoFi Plus members will also get exclusive access to VIP sports and music events.

6. Exclusive ‘Power of Plus’ Sweepstakes for SoFi Plus Members

To celebrate the launch of SoFi Plus, SoFi is giving away a total of $600,000 to help winners achieve America’s biggest financial ambitions. Prizes include money to work toward:

• Buying a home
• Fast-tracking your retirement
• Paying off student loans 
• A bucket list vacation 
• Paying for your wedding 
• Once-in-a-lifetime tickets to a sports or entertainment experience

To enter, subscribe to SoFi Plus for $10/month or set up direct deposit with SoFi Checking and Savings at no extra cost by 5/14/25. Look out for your welcome email after signing up, and then click the “enter now” registration link to select your desired ambition. Plus, when you refer friends to subscribe to SoFi Plus, you get an additional entry to the sweepstakes (earn up to 10 bonus entries).

OK, But What Does It Cost?

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Getty Images/ d3sign

You can sign up for SoFi Plus by setting up direct deposit with SoFi Checking & Savings at no extra cost. Or, you can pay a subscription fee of $10 per month for all these amazing benefits. Needless to say, SoFi Plus is America’s most rewarding financial membership, all in one app. Plus adds up.

_{*SoFi Checking and Savings and SoFi Credit Cards are products offered by SoFi Bank, N.A. Member FDIC. Loans originated by SoFi Bank, N.A., NMLS #696891 (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org). Equal Housing Lender.}

_{Brokerage products offered through SoFi Securities LLC, member FINRA/SIPC. Advisory services are offered through SoFi Wealth LLC, an SEC-registered investment adviser.}

_{SoFi Plus is a premium membership that gives members access to our best APY, discounts, rewards, and more when they set up Direct Deposit or pay the SoFi Plus Subscription Fee. Benefits are subject to change and may not be available to everyone. All terms and conditions at SoFi.com/terms-of-use/#sofi-plus applicable to the use of SoFi Plus apply. To learn more about SoFi Plus and available benefits and terms, go to SoFi.com/sofi-plus.}

**_{SoFi members who enroll in SoFi Plus with Direct Deposit or by paying the SoFi Plus Subscription Fee every 30 days or with $5,000 or more in Qualifying Deposits during the 30-Day Evaluation Period can earn 3.80% annual percentage yield (APY) on savings balances (including Vaults) and 0.50% APY on checking balances. There is no minimum Direct Deposit amount required to qualify for the stated interest rate. Members without either SoFi Plus or Qualifying Deposits, during the 30-Day Evaluation Period will earn 1.00% APY on savings balances (including Vaults) and 0.50% APY on checking balances. Only SoFi Plus members are eligible for other SoFi Plus benefits. Interest rates are variable and subject to change at any time. These rates are current as of 1/24/25. There is no minimum balance requirement. Additional information can be found at http://www.sofi.com/legal/banking-rate-sheet. See the SoFi Plus Terms and Conditions at https://www.sofi.com/terms-of-use/#plus.}

_{Information as of January 2025 and is subject to change.}

_{Screen Images simulated}

_{$1,000 value: See assumptions and details below, value is not guaranteed and varies depending on benefits used. Terms apply.}

_{$10 subscription fee: Subscribers are billed every 30 calendar days based on the initial date of subscription.}

_{The S&P 500 Index is a market-capitalization-weighted index of 500 leading publicly traded companies in the U.S. It is not an investment product, but a measure of U.S. equity performance. Historical performance of the S&P 500 Index does not guarantee similar results in the future. The historical return of the S&P 500 Index shown does not include the reinvestment of dividends or account for investment fees, expenses, or taxes, which would reduce actual returns.}

_{NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. 50 US/DC, 18+. Void where prohibited. Sweepstakes ends at 11:59 pm ET on 5/14/25. See Official Rules incl. alternate and free methods of entry and limits at sofi.com/powerofplus/#disclaimers. Sponsor: Social Finance LLC}

_{Based on a series of blinded surveys of financial memberships across banking, borrowing, investing, and credit cards. 900 consumers were asked to rank offerings based on the question, “Which financial membership brand is most rewarding?” Results as of January 2025 at sofi .com/plus-survey.}

That’s the phrase that, in some variation, is bandied about among Gen X women and older when we’re talking about the bad old days of workplace sexual harassment. It’s a dismissive term I’ve used myself, the period instead of ellipses to punctuate any thoughts or discussions of how some mogul or macher said or did something we’d see as unacceptable today. Indeed, “it is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person's sex. Harassment can include ‘sexual harassment’ or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature,” says the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

Sexual Coercion vs. Consent: Knowing the Difference Can Be Empowering

In other words, the unpleasant experiences of us 50-somethings were a long time ago, and we’re safe now…right? Now that the #metoo wave has crested? That’s the tidy public takeaway from the rash of convictions and publicized shamings against prominent figures revealed to be sex monsters, such as serial offenders Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein.

But after seeing a pair of films dealing with these issues, I’m thinking that there’s another important player in these dramas, at least in my own instance of workplace harassment—one that’s an important safeguard against junior employees being victimized. I’m talking about the strong senior woman who sees what’s going down, and won’t stand for it.

In the late ‘90s, I was an excited twentysomething magazine writer on a work trip—you mean I get my own hotel room?!?—to a Florida resort for an annual conference where publishers and editors met with advertisers. In those days, meeting with a couple potential megabucks companies poolside justified a day’s paycheck, so I was amped to have a mini-vacation in this publishing pantomime. One afternoon while I was sunning between appointments, a loud-talking exec who was as infamous for his swagger as his cigars, waddled up to me in his Speedo and started eyeing me up and down, talking about grabbing drinks or getting together later or…

On its face, it could be waved away as innocuous, an older adult male talking to a younger adult female at a work event. But the power differential, and my cluelessness about how private time with Mr. Big might have gone down, made the whole thing creepy, definitely inappropriate and possibly a fireable offense. Certainly, I felt uncomfortable. But decades later, what I recall most about that moment was the sudden appearance of my publisher, a woman who seemingly out of nowhere wedged her pantsuit-clad body between my sundress and that dripping, mostly naked man. She started engaging him in bro-speak work talk, jocular ribbing about how many pages so-and-so reported having bagged. The moment was broken, he stepped back, I retreated to a cabana and later, my publisher and I carried on rat-tat-tatting our publication’s strong points to another prospective advertiser.

This woman, my former publisher, flashed in my mind in the horrifying opening moments of She Said, a film chronicling the New York Times reporting the Weinstein case. In that movie’s cold open, we see a woman clutching her clothing, running down a street toward the camera, screaming in terror. Thankfully, nothing like that character’s workplace sexual assault happened to me, but I viscerally connected to the feeling of being prey among wolves. And my wolfhunter turned out to be an experienced woman who used her power to protect me, without a word, deploying her seniority and smarts to sidestep what could have been a sticky situation.

“She probably wouldn’t see it that way,” a colleague said, years later. “It wasn’t a feminist move for her maybe, instead she didn’t want this other guy messing with someone on her team.” Sure, I see that. And further, I don’t think that having protectors makes sexual harassment one iota less aggregious. Sexual harassment weakens us all, of course the victims but also the soul-sickness in looking the other way, as is so chillingly depicted in The Assistant, the 2019 indie film starring Julia Garner as a film company assistant tasked with cleaning up the messes of her menacing film producer boss. In my mind’s eye, I don’t even see the face of the leering bigwig guy who macked on me back then, but I do see the no-nonsense visage of the woman who interceded.

I made a note to myself after seeing She Said to reach out to this woman to tell her thank you for the thing she’s probably not even aware she did. I haven't done it, but I’m thinking maybe I’ll send her this essay. I'm also hoping that, now that I’m on the other side of the power dynamic, I can help increase the public dialogue and prevention against all of us letting this happen. Younger women and men—let’s make this occurrence infrequent enough to be rare, not relatable.

My Stepfather Molested Me Growing Up, and Now as a Parent Myself, I Can’t Stop Wondering: What Is a Mother to Do?

Meet the Expert

Myka Meier is the founder of Beaumont Etiquette and author of Modern Etiquette Made Easy. (She also teaches a range of online etiquette courses and offers etiquette-themed merch.)

From Decadent Trees to Debutant Dresses, Here Are 10 Holiday Trends That Will Be Everywhere This Season

Why Tipping Is Important This Year (and Every Year)

“Think of tipping as a thank you for loyalty,” Meier says. “If you can’t afford to be as generous this year, try to prioritize the people in your life that truly go above and beyond to help you.” (Pro tip from Meier: Tipping is usually done in the first three weeks of December so that the recipient can spend the money on what they wish for the holidays.)

Here’s How Much to Give Every Single Person on Your List

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

20th Century Fox

Your Nanny
One week’s pay is the norm, but it doesn’t hurt to throw in a handmade gift from your kids. 

Your Regular Date Night Sitter
$30 to $50

Your Daycare Staff
$30 to $50 per person who helps directly with your child.

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

NBC

Your Barista
$10

Your Dog Walker
$10 to $30

Your Newspaper Carrier
$10 to $20

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Universal Pictures

The Gift Wrapper at the Mall
$2 to $5 per package.

Your Dry Cleaner
$10 to $30

Your Trash & Recycling Collectors
In many towns, tipping is prohibited. Check your municipality’s website to find out the exact rules. That said, if you pay for a private service, a cash tip—to the tune of $10 to $30—is king.

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

NBC

The Mailman
$10 to $20. Federal regulations actually prohibit anything higher although many people don’t follow this rule.

Your Landscaper/Gardener
$20 to $30

Your Housekeeper
$50 to $150

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Working Title Films

Your Personal Trainer
$10 to $30

Your Mechanic
$10 to $30

Your Building Super
$25 to $100

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Columbia Pictures

Your Christmas Tree Carrier
$5 to $10

Your Doorman
$25 to $100

Your Hairstylist
$20 to $50. If you regularly tip 20 percent every time you get your hair done, this is a thoughtful gesture (that you can tack on top of your regular tip) for your favorite stylist.

Note: Per Meier, how much you tip is reflective of where you live. In a larger metropolitan city, tipping will be higher than in a smaller town. These numbers are based on the standard amount for a middle-sized city. If someone goes above and beyond, adjust accordingly.

Quiet Luxury Is Out. Loud Budgeting Is In.

The 46 Best Sustainable Products and Brands to Shop in 2024, Tested & Reviewed

What Is “Underconsumption Core”?

On TikTok, videos about “underconsumption core” have gone viral, racking up hundreds of comments and thousands—even hundreds of thousands—of likes. Watch a handful and you quickly notice a pattern: women touting their single pair of sneakers, one face cleanser, lone bottle of foundation (skip the concealer), lonely body wash, outdated kitchens, thrifted closets and secondhand furniture. (Yes, I feel the irony of having linked each of those aforementioned words to buying guides.) The entire schtick is using things until the very last drop or shred of fabric. They’re not buying more than they need, and they’re buying things one at a time. In contrast to the bevy of ubiquitous fast-fashion haul videos we’ve become accustomed to, the contrast is stark—and, many find, refreshing.

Remy Tumin writes in The New York Times that this is “the latest move away from influencer culture. Instead of pristine fridge shelves, makeup bags with the latest products and fashion fads, users are posting simplified closets, secondhand clothes that have lasted for years and minimal makeup and skin care collections.”

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

The Knee-Jerk Reaction to “Revenge Spending”

Brett House, an economics professor at Columbia Business School, explained in The Times that “underconsumption core” is actually cyclical, and typically occurs in periods of economic hardship. House notes this occurs every ten years or so. Though we haven’t called it an official recession, it’s been a few years of will-they-won’t-they, watching to see if the Federal Reserve will continue to raise or cut interest rates. Layoffs have been widespread, especially across the technology and media sectors. Many people are penny-pinching, and the influencer life defined by excess now feels like salt on a wound. He says that this particular iteration is a response to COVID’s “revenge spending,” which then transitioned to “vibesession,” or the fear of recession that’s hung over our heads the last couple years. Also, we’re just damn tired and jaded from the barrage of ads we see everyday.

“Classy If You’re Rich, Trashy If You’re Poor”

Because the admirable goal of consuming less has been turned into an aesthetic we must perform, the trend has sparked a mild class war happening in many of the comments sections on TikTok and beyond. “This…feels like a ‘classy if you’re rich, trashy if you’re poor’ situation,” one viewer commented on a YouTube video by Swell Entertainment, a popular channel focusing on product and media commentary. “Privilege plays a role in trends,” YouTuber Liz Drayna says in her analysis of the fad. We see this happen all the time, particularly in the beauty space with, for example, the clean girl aesthetic and Mamma Mia hair. You need a certain cultural (and thereby socioeconomic) capital to catapult something to trendy status. People have gotten (rightly) prickly over the fact that frugality and living with less are things that those with fewer means have had to do as a mode of survival—and now it’s trendy because an upper-middle class gal is proselytizing the joys of her five-product Chanel makeup routine, which she keeps in a repurposed Diptyque candle. Ultimately, we’re all going to approach it differently based on what’s feasible for us—and that’s OK.

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

What Do You Do?

Overconsumption, no matter where you fall on the socioeconomic rung, is harmful to the planet. In particular, fast fashion accounts for ten percent of all global emissions and is the second biggest consumer of water. Every year, 85 percent of textiles end up in landfills. Meanwhile, the beauty industry manufactures 120 billion pieces of packaging each year—and only 14 percent is sent to a recycling facility. Of that 14 percent, nine percent is actually recycled.

It can feel daunting to figure out how to live a more sustainable lifestyle, especially when companies put the onus on the consumer to do the homework. There are also other constraints in regards to time, money and physical ability to make changes. So, what’s the best thing to do? Start small. Try challenging yourself to a no-buy week. Look in your vanity and closet and try to work with what you already have, and only buy to replace things that are empty or truly unusable. Repurpose old clothing into washcloths and rags. Take your pants to the tailor when a seam busts, instead of chucking them in the rubbish bin. Trawl Facebook Marketplace for furniture. And, perhaps my favorite trick: Practice gratitude. I’ve recently challenged myself to write out ten things I’m grateful for every day for 365 days. Unsurprisingly, it’s helped me focus on things that are going well in my life—instead of spending my time roving on others’ social media pages feeling discontent. Even if practicing gratitude is all that you do for next week or month or year, you might be surprised. Slowly, perhaps, the urge to buy, buy, buy will fade. 

A Realistic Woman’s Guide to Quitting Fast Fashion

Meet the Expert

Elizabeth Hudson is a spiritual life coach, yoga instructor and meditation teacher. Hudson has led retreats for all ages and demographics, helping clients strategically focus on developing action plans to achieve their goals while nurturing healthy relationships with themselves. She hosts the Sexual Alchemy Podcast in conversation with healers, yogis and other experts about conscious sexuality. Hudson has been featured in Los Angeles Magazine, the podcasts I’m Glad You’re Here and In the Calm and others.

Oldest? Youngest? Middle? Here’s What Your Birth Order Says About Your Personality

The 3 Best Careers for Oldest Children

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

1. Entrepreneur

Given the fact that oldest children are 30 percent more likely to end up in management positions, entrepreneurship isn’t so far-fetched. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re launching Silicon Valley’s next soonicorn. (Though, props to you if that’s your jam.) That could also mean you’re crushing it on Etsy with custom-designed crochet dresses or rocking the world with the next Sonny Angel. Being an entrepreneur is generally compatible with the oldest child’s personality traits because they take initiative, are organized and responsible. Hudson agrees. “I'm a first born and I’m really entrepreneurial, taking leaps to forge trails to places I never thought I would end up in. [I] find outside of the box strategies for myself.” All of which are crucial when you’re starting a business and there’s no corporate roadmap for how to swim.

“There’s no one already setting the pace for you; you’re not in anyone else’s slipstream,” Hudson adds. “There is an inevitability to having to set your own pace and forge your own path.” And because oldest siblings are used to taking charge, being in any role where they’re not just feels wrong. As a business owner, they’ll get to flex all the parts of their personality that demand they be in the driver’s seat.

2. Educator

Though they are can-do and take charge, I’ll let you in on a secret. Oldest children (myself included) are big softies. It’s likely attributed to the fact that we often assume a burden of caring for younger siblings in some capacity, whether that means being the on-call, on-demand babysitter or literally raising them like your own. (Yup, classic case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome right here.) This nurturing aspect is what gives oldest siblings the potential to be great educators.

“They can be a little more careful, a little more conscientious. Certainly more concerned with the welfare of others,” Hudson notes. Whether you’re teaching elementary school or are corralling a class of hormonal teenagers (good luck), you’ll quickly find that the leadership qualities of entrepreneurship marry well with the caring, empathetic qualities needed to run a classroom. 

3. Politician

But not like *that* if you know what I mean. In its truest form, a politician is a public servant. The role requires leadership skills, confidence, vision and charisma. Don’t forget about the word servant in public servant, though. That means advocating for your constituents’ well-being. And, of course, rallying people around a cause.

“There are positive qualities of recognizing that you have to share your time, that you have to be flexible, that you have to be generous, patient,” Hudson says. “Those are all good leadership qualities,” and oldest children may come more naturally equipped with them due to their upbringing. (Though, many traits can be taught, too.)

2 Careers Oldest Children Should Avoid

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

1. Accountant

Hudson and I both agree that oldest children most likely want to take responsibility and would be discontented to simply follow others around. Rote work, anything where the job requires you to stay in a lane—probably a no-go. That’s why I’d wager that oldest children probably don’t want to go into accounting—unless you’re on the partner track at a Big Four firm. Specifically, you may find yourself suffering acutely if you run payroll: strict deadlines, little variation, no vision. Nail in the oldest child’s coffin.

2. Information Technology

There’s a difference between information tech and straight up computer science. While knowledge of a coding language or two is helpful (and potentially required), you most likely won’t be using that knowledge to launch Facebook 2.0. Instead, this industry is focused on processes like storage, retrieval and data transmission for business operations. In other words, you’ll be spending a lot of time doing maintenance, troubleshooting and administrative work—things that may have oldest siblings feeling bored, fast.

Age Gaps Between Siblings Are Widening—and It’s Shifting the Birth Order Dynamics

Meet the Expert

Dr. Sanam Hafeez is a New York City-based neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind, a psychological practice that treats learning disorders, anxiety, depression and other psychopathological disorders. Dr. Hafeez obtained her Doctor of Psychology at Hofstra University and completed her post-doctoral training in neuropsychology and developmental pediatrics at Coney Island Hospital.

What Is the Birth Order Theory?

The Birth Order Theory was the brainchild of Austrian psychotherapist Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud. As this 2017 paper explains, Adler believed that a large part of someone’s personality development could be tied to their birth order and how that encouraged certain traits. “Adler believed that one’s rank within the family would impact the individual’s experiences, thereby altering the way that individual’s personality develops,” the authors write. “The traits expected for each child are not dependent on their actual order of birth, but rather on the social interactions they experience as a result of that factor”

Adler ranked positions as follows: First Born Child, Second Born Child/Middle Child, Youngest Child, Only Child. Often, but not always, each one will have the following traits, as explained by Dr. Hafeez.

“First-borns are often seen as responsible, reliable and leaders, typically being more achievement-oriented and conscientious due to feeling pressure to meet parental expectations. Middle children are considered peacemakers, adaptable and diplomatic, often developing strong social skills to carve out their own niche because they may feel overshadowed by their older and younger siblings,” she notes. “Youngest children are described as outgoing, attention-seeking and charming, and they might be more rebellious and willing to take risks, having less pressure to conform to parental expectations. Only children are viewed as mature for their age, self-sufficient, and conscientious, often enjoying being the center of attention and having strong intellectual interests due to more direct parental involvement.”

So, according to these traits, what does that mean for your financial life?

How the Birth Order Theory Affects Your Money Habits

“First-borns, often seen as responsible and achievement-oriented, tend to be disciplined savers and careful spenders, influenced by high parental expectations,” Dr. Hafeez says, further explaining that the oldest child will usually exhibit qualities like responsibility and reliability because of said expectations and the caretaker role they assume for younger siblings. That means they’re apt to think about planning for future expenses like university tuition and retirement. If you need someone to spot you $100, chances are, the oldest sibling has it. (But, if they think the $100 won’t be responsibly spent, you can count on them saying no.)

On the other hand, younger siblings, benefiting from the lack of parental oversight, can tend to be more carefree risk-takers. (Hence, perhaps, why my youngest sibling is the most aggressive investor.) “Youngest children may exhibit more impulsive financial behaviors, preferring to spend in the present rather than save for the future, influenced by typically more lenient parental relationships,” Dr. Hafeez says. However, this trait isn’t confined to the youngest child, as a 2024 study found that the risk-taking attitude could be attributed to laterborns as a whole. Middle children may take a more moderate approach, finding an optimal middle ground between saving and spending, doing their best to allocate funds to everyone’s needs. In other words, they’re the one you go to when you need that $100. The youngest may have lost it on the stock market. (Or they could have tripled the investment.)

As for the “Onlies”? “Only children who mature quickly and enjoy close parental relationships often develop self-sufficient and conscientious financial habits, emphasizing security and careful planning,” Dr. Hafeez notes, which likens them to the first born child, who share the traits of discipline and caution.

It’s Not Set in Stone

Sure, like zodiac signs and personality tests, birth order theory is fun—but if you’re panicking because you don’t like what your birth order supposedly says about you, fear not. Nothing is truly set in stone.

“These generalizations do not hold for everyone,” Dr. Hafeez reassures me. “Personality development is influenced by many factors, including individual temperament, family dynamics, parental involvement and cultural context. While birth order can offer some insights, it is just one of many influences shaping personality and behavior.” There are many things, she says, that can affect our relationship to money, among them emotional stability, significant life events, education, peer pressure and cultural norms. And because nothing is permanent, you’re not stuck. It might take some discipline, but it’s never too late to rewrite the script.

“While birth order theory offers interesting insights and can be a useful framework for understanding certain family dynamics, it is not universally accurate,” Dr Hafeez says. “Personality is shaped by a complex interplay of genetic, environmental, and social factors, and birth order is just one piece of the puzzle.”

It *Seemed* Like the Electric Company: 5 Smart Women on How They Got Scammed

Wrong. Dead wrong. Since I’d been reporting on scam stories for the past few weeks and had actually been scammed myself not so long ago (more on this later), I recognized this as a phishing attempt—that’s a scam that uses an email message to lure you into engaging with the scammers by calling a number or clicking a link. Before scamming was so widespread—text scams alone fleeced Americans for $300 million in 2022, according to the Federal Trade Commission—I might have engaged. Instead, I scanned my checking account to see if any large or unknown purchases had been posted (nope) and I did a cursory Google search for “PayPal scam” (there are many), and then sailed on with my day. Still, that was 20 minutes of my life I’m never getting back, alongside a a stomach-drop moment of fear that I’d just lost $1,299.

Bottom line. It’s not just me and it’s not just you. When the nation’s paper of record writes a story entitled “Welcome to Scam World” and a financial columnist goes viral for handing fraudsters $50,000 in cash, we’re all fair game. So, in the spirit of forewarned is forearmed, I wanted to share my personal story as well as the experiences of others. We are all smart women. We all thought it couldn’t have been us. I do this not to rubber-neck at others’ financial accidents (well, maybe a little), but mostly in the hopes that we’ll all learn to be more cautious.

I Worried About My Teen Son and ‘FinFluencer’ TikTok, But Then I Fell Down My Own Rabbit Hole

Dana, 50s, Los Angeles

What Happened: My New Year’s resolution was to clean out my closet and sell items I didn’t want any longer on Poshmark, which has such a cute interface and cool clothes. I carefully curated and photographed a whole spring-themed story and, after lots of prep, I went live. One of the fellow vendors DM-ed to purchase a silk heart-printed Italian dress I’d listed and explained that they wanted to buy this dress quickly, before another vendor could swoop in, but that they needed more photos. I felt so seen—someone liked my dress and I was going to make money! I emailed them the photos and they emailed me back saying they were trying to post payment but it wasn’t working—maybe I hadn’t been fully been verified by the platform? No worries; I should expect a Poshmark form via email to enter my correct account information so I could get paid. Turns out, that form was mocked up by the scammer to look like it was from Poshmark, and after I filled it out and sent it back, the scammers made fraudulent charges. To the tune of $500. I had to cancel that card and shut down my whole Poshmark account.

What I Learned: When platforms say that all transactions and communication should occur in the app, they mean it. Everything. If someone asks for more pictures or needs clarification, post all that right in the app’s chat, or forego the sale.

Liv, 30s, Colorado

What Happened: I was caught up in one of my company’s phishing attacks! Our CEO, who I just happened to be working on a project with, texted me to ask a favor. He used his first name, called me by my name and said, casually, ‘Hey I have a task for you to complete. I am pulling together a project that includes a bunch of gift cards, but I have depleted the ones around my home and since you are based in another area, could you pick two up for me?’ My first thought was, isn’t there an assistant who can handle this? But since I am based in another town, I thought, oh okay. So…I ran out to Walmart, bought a $500 gift card, and sent him the number on the reverse as directed.

Still, the moment I pushed send I thought uh-oh, this seems fishy. So I called a colleague and she confirmed: that wasn’t a company number and, in fact, I had been scammed.

What I Learned: While it may not scar me for life, it’s embarrassing! In the future, I’m not going to pick up the phone or respond to a text when I don’t recognize the number.

Jane, 70s, Philadelphia  

What Happened: I know I seem like the demographic who would get scammed, since I’m older, but really I’m cynical and believe that everything is a scam! What happened was that one day at about 6:30 I was home from work when I got a call from the electric company asking to confirm my address. They had my address right and a man—who spoke politely, I might add—said that there was a truck on its way to turn off the service for nonpayment because, for the past two months, the bill (which totaled $400) had not been paid. I consulted my check ledger and saw that I hadn’t written any checks to them in the past two months. I offered to pay right then, but he said that since the office was closed, they couldn’t process credit cards. But, he said, if I Venmo’d him the $400, he could stop the guy from turning the service off. He explained how to do it, which I did, then asked me to also pay the $45 service charge. When Venmo wouldn’t let me do that, I started panicking and told my husband, who said ‘What, are you crazy, hang up!’

What I Learned: I wish I had run it by my spouse right away, because it turns out we had switched to automatic payments, which is why I didn’t see the records in my checkbook. Overall, it was a good reminder that you might think you are a savvy person, but you cannot let your guard down ever. Especially at that time; I was so tired that day and I remember thinking, I just can’t take the electricity going off right now. Also, I'm no longer picking up my phone for unidentified numbers!

Christine, 40s, Los Angeles

What Happened: Someone emailed me pretending to be my deceased mother-in-law’s best friend and asked for help buying gift cards for her grandchildren. Of course I wanted to help an 84-year-old widow! Then they asked me to email the code on the back of the card and not send the actual card. I felt like such an idiot falling for it!

What I Learned: When people die, their email histories can be exploited for fraud.

Erika, 50s, San Diego

What Happened: I was so excited to see on Instagram that the recently released $200 New Balance sneakers with a wedge were on flash sale for $80. I clicked through and paid for them, then promptly forgot about the purchase with the day-to-day of being a single mom. Then, a few weeks later I noticed some small charges being posted to my account from China. And I also remembered, hey, where are those shoes I ordered? I promptly reported the fraud and had to cancel that credit card.

What I Learned: If a sale seems to be too good to be true, or I don’t recognize a vendor, better to skip it.

4 Surprising Ways to Cut Costs at Walt Disney World

1. Buy the Magic Bands on Sale

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Let me preface this by saying that the Magic Bands—which allow you to sync all the details of your Disney stay from hotel key to park passes—were quite possibly my son’s favorite part of the trip. We hemmed and hawed about the investment (prices range from $35 to $45 per person), but after chatting with a number of Disney frequenters, decided they were worth it, especially since we were going to do Genie+. Still, given the already steep price of our trip, I wasn’t exactly keen to spend another $150 on bands for three travelers.

The work-around: Shop the sales. If you know about your trip in advance and you’re not hellbent on a specific band design, this is the best approach. For example, our trip was in March. Disney released a bunch of limited-edition holiday designs that were obsolete just a few weeks later…so we bought them in January for $25-ish apiece. Did our wrists scream Christmas in March? Absolutely. Did we save 50 percent? Yep.

Total Amount Saved: $60

2. Buy Merch Ahead of Time

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

This was a pro tip I picked up from an influencer: Try to anticipate the gift shop items your kids are going to want, from Minnie Mouse ears to bubble wands to vintage looking sweatshirts. Then remember that in-the-park prices are astronomical. Those aforementioned ears cost $35 to $50 on-site. Wands cost $30. Balloons are $15. You get the idea.

The work-around: Amazon. The reality is that almost all of those iconic items are available from non-Disney brands—but at a fraction of the price—online. I scooped up a two-pack of Minnie Mouse ears for $9, bought Disney T-shirts from Etsy for roughly $10 a pop and, while I didn’t get the bubble wands, I found a comparable two-pack of those, too, for just $20. Then I crammed it all in my suitcase to present to my son as we walked in the gates.

Total Amount Saved: $225

3. Don’t Sleep on David’s Vacation Club Rentals

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

I’ll admit, the cost of Disney World resort accommodations was a tough pill to swallow. We booked a year out and a standard room at the Polynesian Hotel still cost about $1,000 a night (taxes and fees included). But as it turns out, it doesn’t have to be that way.

The work-around: David’s Vacation Club Rentals. True story: While walking around Disney, we overheard not one, not two, but three different conversations amongst park-goers about the sweeping benefits of using DVCR to save on deluxe hotel accommodations for their Disney stay. Here’s how it works: Think of DVCR as a timeshare program that links Disney Vacation Club point owners with prospective renters. DVCR helps Vacation Club points owners who can’t use their points “sell” them at a discounted rate. All of which means you (as a non-Disney Vacation club member) can stay at a Disney property for sometimes half the cost.

Total Amount We *Would* Have Saved: $2500

4. Eat Off the Premises (and Peep Your Credit Card Perks)

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

It’s kind of an unspoken reality: Disney World food isn’t all that great. At the very least, it can start to feel tiresome—and still quite expensive—after multiple days at the same resort. (We ate out for dinner one night and spent nearly $100 on a kids’ meal, a poke bowl and pasta…and zero alcohol. We’d call that steep.)

The work-around: DoorDash, minus the fees. Like we said, credit cards often have perks you’re not aware of until a situation arises when they come in handy. That’s why it’s worth refreshing your options before hitting the road. In our case, our Chase Sapphire Preferred credit card happened to be running a partnership with DoorDash’s DashPass program that’s good through the end of 2024. This meant that delivery fees were $0, service fees were reduced, and we were eligible for additional discounts and perks (like faster delivery) for up to 12 months once activated. The upshot? On the nights we didn’t feel like breaking the bank on a sit-down meal at our resort, we used our DashPass and accepted our food in the hotel’s lobby. Al fresco pizza party by the pool? Yes, please!

Total Amount Saved: $250

I’ve Been to Disney World Over a Dozen Times, Here Are 3 Things I Never Miss (and 3 I’d Never Do Again)

My son has long been interested in money—from the time he first started getting allowance at age 6 to his constant curiosity about credit cards, restaurant bills and (I kid you not) property taxes. But over the years, his questions about specific dollar amounts have become increasingly hard to answer, culminating in a moment last month when, in the middle of the grocery store, he flat out asked me how much money I made.

“I, er, Daddy and I make the right amount for our family,” I stumbled.

“No, but how much?”

“Enough. We’re comfortable.”

“$100 a day? $1,000 a day?” The kid wanted answers. I didn’t want half the third grade knowing my income.  And I had no idea what to do. In the moment, I quieted him with my platitudes. But later, I sought out an expert, Jennifer Seitz, the CFEI and Director of Education at family finance app Greenlight, to see how I could have handled it better.

Meet the Expert

Jennifer Seitz is the Director of Education at Greenlight, the family finance company on a mission to help parents raise financially smart kids. A Certified Financial Education Instructor (CFEI) and a mom of three, Jennifer uses her expertise to teach kids and parents alike about smart money management. She led the educational development of Level Up, a gamified financial literacy experience in the Greenlight app, and recently launched Greenlight for Classrooms, a free library of personal finance resources for K-12 teachers in all 50 states. Prior to Greenlight, Jennifer spent more than 15 years with CNN where she held several content roles.

For Kids Under 10, Stick With Concepts Rather Than Numbers

Seitz says that ultimately, you know your kid best and when they are ready to hear real numbers. But on the whole, she maintains that “for younger children, it's best to keep explanations simple and focus on the basics. You can discuss concepts like how your family is budgeting, saving and setting financial goals in a way that they can understand. However, it's generally not necessary to provide specific details about your income, expenses or debts at this age.”

In other words, instead of talking about how much a home costs, you could talk about the concept of making a down payment, and making smaller mortgage payments every month thereafter until the loan is paid. Or, instead of revealing the true cost of your Disney vacation, you could start a shared change jar to finance a dinner or souvenir, illustrating the concept of saving up for a big trip. One more thing: With my own kids who are 7 and 9, I’ve found it’s helpful to reveal concrete numbers when discussing lower-stakes purchases. For example, when we’re at a restaurant, we’ll talk about why each kid can get one $5 Shirley Temple, but not two. Or, when they beg to go to the indoor trampoline park every weekend, I have very honestly told them that it costs $40 a kid, which makes it a special occasion treat, not a guaranteed Sunday activity.

As They Get Older, Get Into the Nitty Gritty

“Around the ages of 12 to 14, children are often ready to start learning about real-life examples,” Seitz maintains. “The right age for [them] to start understanding the actual costs of things like houses, college, vacations and other major expenses varies, depending on their individual development and exposure to financial concepts. However, generally speaking, children can be introduced to these numbers, especially related to college and the costs of independent living, as they become interested as tweens or early teens.”

She recommends involving them directly in family budget conversations (say, deciding if this is the year to spend $10,000 on a bathroom upgrade or installing central AC), showing them examples of home listings or college tuition fees and talking about the importance of planning and saving for these expenses. Use real-life examples, she advises, teaching them about trade-offs and promoting the concept of saving and setting aside an emergency fund. Heck, you may even want to tell them how much is in yours.

Finally, in the interest of tying the financial to the emotional, I think it’s also worth a chat about discretion as children learn these numbers. If you decide to tell your kid your salary, they need to understand that this is private information that could make people feel bad or uncomfortable if blabbed all over town. If you share your home value, they need to know they can’t go around asking other people theirs. (Let them find out later about how to get it all from Zillow.)

So What Should I Have Said?

Per Seitz’s guidance, my 9-year-old probably doesn’t need to know my dollar-amount income. But I could have given him something more useful than evasion.

“Discussing salary can be a learning opportunity to explore salary ranges for many different professions and also concepts, like employee benefits and even intangible benefits that go along with career choices,” she says.

In short, I might have taken the opportunity to explain the difference between the hourly employees at the grocery store, salaried employees like me and annual-contract holders like Travis Kelce or royalties-earners like Taylor Swift. (Can you tell where my brain is?) I could have talked about how important benefits like health insurance and paid parental leave are, and how I believe those are rights all workers should have. I could have even talked about how earnings-potential is different for different professions (teachers vs. doctors vs. movie stars), but how that’s one of many factors that goes into choosing a career.

Bottom line: I could have done better. And maybe next time, I will.

75 Great Conversation Starters for Kids of All Ages

It works like this—to sign up for Score, you enter your name, birthdate and address, as well as the last four digits of your social security number, into the app, which then conducts a soft credit check on you. (That means that the credit check itself won’t affect your credit, as sometimes happens when you’re making big purchases.) Only applicants with a credit score higher than 675 are accepted into the dating pool—so the theory is that everyone you meet on the app has good credit. (Note: Not to quibble, but credit rating agency Experian says 700 is the minimum for a good score, not 675. Perhaps Score could more accurately be called the “not bad” credit score dating app, which doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.)

As an experiment, I signed up myself, and was disappointed not to find out what my exact score was, instead just getting the green light to continue my registration by adding a photo and an introductory sentence. The experience was unsettling, since my credit isn’t always over 700—was this extra layer of judgment even a good idea? Were people of the dating world falling in love constantly, only to be left shattered at the altar when Standard & Poor’s said they’d paid Amex late one month too many?

According to a dating expert we spoke with, there’s a better approach than credit scores to meeting a partners. Connell Barrett is a dating coach for men and host of the Dating Transformation podcast. He wrote a book called Dating Sucks, But You Don’t: The Modern Guy’s Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection and Finding the Perfect Partner. And he works one-on-one with clients, so we thought he’d be in favor of anything that makes dating matches easier—but he was bearish on Score. 

“A high credit score would be a way to impress somebody with your financial ability and that’s okay, but you don’t want to lead with it,” says Barrett. “Dating is two people who find out they are romantic and emotional matches, getting to know the other person, not their credit score.” Further, in Barrett’s opinion, Score is a business that’s using an app to solve a problem that doesn’t exist. “Mis-matched credit scores are not the issue,” he says. “Loneliness is a problem, and dating app fatigue is a problem.” Barrett suggests taking extra care in crafting your Hinge profile as a better investment in your time.

Still, it takes two to tango, and let’s say you’ve been burned by a partner’s financial shenanigans previously. We understand the logic of screening out people with less-than-stellar financial histories. Potentially, this could result in a more serious-minded dating pool—but even the app designers seem unsure of this, since the project is reportedly running for a limited 90-day window, at least initially.

And though Barrett acknowledges that money matters do come up in the dating world, he suggests waiting until you determine if you even like the person before you start asking them for the last four digits of their social. “If you’re not financially stable, that’s something to work on,” Barrett says. “You want to have a plan you’re working on, whatever that is, maybe you’re in college. Anyone is attracted to a man or woman with a plan they can mention and focus on—ambition is attractive, just take the right action.” The dating coach says that even if you’re in financial straits, you’ll gain self-esteem from working on fixing the problem, which in turn will be a positive feedback loop to making you more attractive to potential dates. 

In summary: While we see the logic in a dating app that screens candidates by credit score, we’ll be working on our profiles and our own financial mojo, and keep the dating to the fun stuff, at least at first.

If You Feel Like You’re Settling in Relationships, the Bubble Theory Could Explain Why

Why Is TikTok Obsessing Over the Black Cat and Golden Retriever Dating Theory? Let Me, a Relationship Editor, Explain

Meet the Expert

Vivian Tu is the financial expert and entrepreneur behind Your Rich BFF, host of the popular money podcast Networth and Chill and bestselling author of Rich AF.

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

PureWow: Ok, Vivian – there are so many questions I have on my mind, but the first being a common one I see amongst women in their early to mid-twenties: What is the biggest misconception about credit cards?

Vivian Tu: The biggest misconception about credit cards is that there is a "best one." There are some that are stunning. They are heavy, made of metal and feel luxurious. Still, there is no such thing as a best credit card. However, there is a best credit card for you, based on your spending habits.

PW: And is it true that having a bunch of credit cards is "bad”?

VT: Not at all. I would say three to five cards is the sweet spot; different cards for different types of purchases. For example, you can pay your rent with the BILT card from Mastercard – that’s huge for anyone in NYC where rent tends to be our largest expense, and something we have to pay anyway. 

PW: Speaking of rent… is there a golden rule of how much we should be spending on it? What percent of our annual income should go towards rent, based on where we live?

VT: I don’t have a hard number for this, but I do love the 50/30/20 budgeting method. Mind you, this is based on your take home pay, not your gross annual income. Fifty-percent should go towards needs; that can include things like rent, groceries, utilities, and your cell phone bill. Then 30% goes towards the wants; drinks out with friends, lash extensions, the movies, whatever. The 20% left is for present day you to take care of future you; that’s debt pay down, saving and investing. In a city like New York, I wouldn't be surprised if the “needs” category is a higher percentage, so you may have to decrease the wants and savings ratio a bit.

PW: I love that budgeting method – easy to follow! What do you think is causing the most debt for millennials today, and how can we be better at saving?

VT: Personally, I love a little treat. But you have to remember what the opportunity cost of a daily little treat is. I actually did the math on this: if you buy a $5 latte every single day for 365 days a year, that’s about $1,825. That money is not getting you a house, but it could get you that designer handbag or shoes you love so much. That amount of money is close to all these other things that you may want throughout the year, and can easily budget for just by cutting out one daily thing that might not even spark much joy for you but has become a habit.

PW: I was on the Venmo app recently and saw a transaction between one of my couple friends, where they were requesting money from each other for a cup of coffee… this threw me for a loop! How do you feel about going 50/50 with finances in a relationship?

VT: Being 50/50 friends or 50/50 partners where it is so tit for tat is not healthy, in my opinion. Here’s why: at no point in your life will you ever be at the exact same financial point as a friend or partner. As in, one of you will always have or make more money; one of you will always be more confident in your finances than the other. When you are 50/50 partners you are chasing equality, when you should be chasing equity.

PW: For those of us in the dating scene, when is it appropriate to talk about money?

VT: You should be talking about money on the first date. I think you can ask money questions that show you where someone’s values lie. Examples: if you could go on a dream vacation and spend $30,000 what would that look like? Or, if money didn’t matter, what job would you have? If I gave you a million dollars what would you do with it? Those are all financial questions that feel fun, not icky.

PW: Taking notes! I remember reading that you had a female mentor when you first got to Wall Street that made a big impact on your interest in the financial landscape. What is one piece of advice she gave you that you can pass down to us over here at PureWow?

VT: Number one: Don’t get botox off of Groupon! Two, that you can only save as much as you earn, but you can always earn more money. We talk so much about the avocado toast, the latte and the little things that are preventing you from your goals, but the easiest thing to do to have more money, is to make more money. Think about what it costs you to cut $5,000 of discretionary expenses out of your life: you are probably not having fun anymore. You don’t have a Netflix subscription, you’re not getting drinks with friends, your nails aren’t painted. Whereas do you know how easy it is to ask for a $5,000 raise? It takes about two hours of prep work and a 30 minute conversation that makes you a little uncomfortable. That is the best use of two and a half hours that I have ever heard of. In what other reality can you make $5,000 in two and a half hours? Well, you can do it by asking for a raise every single year. And by making more money, you’re improving your lifestyle without cutting out your joy.

PW: I love that tip (and noted on the Botox). Last but not least, what is a quote or mantra you live by?

VT: Other women are not your competition. We are going to go farther, faster if we lift each other up and support each other than if we were to ever tear each other down.

Indeed is committed to making the workplace better for women, and this year Indeed is hoping more companies do the same. Enter: The #ActuallyPromoteWomen campaign. “[Indeed’s] #ActuallyPromoteWomen campaign centers around the idea that a lot of brands use Women’s History Month to ‘promote women’ on their social channels with generic and overused language like, ‘The Future is Female’ and ‘Girl Boss,’” says a spokesperson for the employment company. “But Indeed is challenging them to promote women within their organization and careers. When there is female and diverse representation at the leadership level, companies perform better and see better results.”

It’s true: They did their research. According to a study by the Deloitte Global Boardroom Program, only 20 percent of executive board seats are held by women. And yet companies with women on their boards become 10 times more profitable, according to gender diversity consultancy The Pipeline. When women are in leadership roles, companies see higher returns¹, higher productivity², greater innovation³ and a more inclusive workplace culture.

In fact, having more women in the workplace actually makes an organization a better place to work—for people of all genders—according to research from the Center for Creative Leadership. Having more women is also positively related to employee engagement and retention. Specifically, when asked why they stay with their current employer, people from organizations with a high percentage of women were more likely to cite positive and meaningful organizational culture, including having: enjoyable work, a job that fits well with other areas of their life and opportunities to make a difference, cites the study.

As part of their commitment to help inspire more workplace equality, Indeed has created a slew of topics, resources and opportunities to help set women—like you—up for success. Curious about finding a flexible workplace or creating new opportunity for yourself? They’ve got some ideas. To learn more about the #ActuallyPromoteWomen campaign and how to better your own career growth, just visit their website.

Here’s hoping that next time Women’s History Month comes around, we’ll have some big promotions to show for it.

_{^{1 Source: Bloomberg, MSCI, BlackRock's calculations, as of April 2023.
2 Source: American Psychological Association
3 Source: International Labor Organization}}

Cue the internal dialog: If home ownership—a traditional American ideal—isn’t in the cards, how should I redirect my down payment fund? And am I a financial failure if I do? We asked financial experts Tori Dunlap, founder of Her First 100K, and Kelly Ann Winget, founder and CEO of Alternative Wealth Partners, the best way to play the long game with your cash and savings goals.

Meet the Experts

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

• Tori Dunlap is a Seattle-based money expert and founder of Her First 100K, a money and career platform for Gen Z and Millennial women. She’s also the author of Financial Feminist: Overcoming the Patriarchy’s Bullsh*t to Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love.

• Kelly Ann Winget is the founder and CEO of Alternative Wealth Partners, a Dallas-based private equity firm focused on blended portfolios and alternative assets.

1. Reframe the Way You Think About Building Wealth

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Dunlap—a multi-millionaire who does not own any property herself—is clear: You don’t have to have real estate investments to bolster your wealth. “Home ownership in America as it currently stands has become a privilege vs. a natural expectation,” she says, adding, “It’s true that for the average person in America, if they have a positive net worth, it’s because they own a house, but there are alternative wealth-building approaches to consider that don’t involve real estate.”

Dunlap’s suggested approach for redirecting your savings if home ownership is no longer in the cards? Invest it. “Traditional stock market investing is done through tax-advantaged accounts like a 401k or IRAs, but you can also just open a general brokerage account,” Dunlap says, noting that investments are where the majority of her wealth is. The benefit comes from the compounded interest. She adds, “Interest rates for homes are hovering between 6 and 8 percent, while the average interest rate for the stock market is between 7 and 10 percent—sometimes more, sometimes less. That’s why, if you’ve got a mortgage rate that’s on the lower side, it’s actually more advantageous to invest vs. pay it down fast because you’ll make more money.”

Winget agrees: “In a typical market, a real estate investment will grow somewhere between 3 and 5 percent a year, which is not the reality we’ve lived in recently. You want to find an alternative asset that will mirror that growth in a safe way. The stock market will do it. Bonds will do it. Right now, a high yield savings account—with interest rates between 4 and 5 percent—might also come close to that.” Bottom line: This is an opportunity to sink your cash into those long-term investments like you would a house that will provide the same kind of return and have similar liquidity.

2. Consider Speculative Investments

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

A quick disclaimer: This advice is for someone with a positive net worth, which means you’ve got some slush money to spare. “Speculative investments are about diversifying your portfolio and taking a risk on something you’re interested in,” Dunlap explains. “I don’t personally own crypto, but I know people who want to invest in something like it.” (Dunlap’s choice of a speculative investment is art because it makes her feel fancy and sophisticated, joking that she owns “a dot on an Andy Warhol painting.”)

But speculative investments should come with a limit. “This isn’t a place where you sink your entire life savings,” Dunlap says. But if you want to spend about 5 percent of your investment portfolio on something that feels a bit more fun or is something you believe in, this is a great approach.

Additionally, this is where a vacation fund comes in. “If you have a substantial amount of money saved, but ultimately decide you’re not going to use it for what you originally intended it for—like a down payment—maybe take a little bit of it and go on a nice trip,” Dunlap says. From there, you can put the rest of it to use.

3. Stop Fretting That Being a Renter Is Bad

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

“My well-meaning parents told me over and over again: ‘You need to buy property or else you’re flushing money down the drain,’” Dunlap says. But the day she was set to close on a condo, she backed out and credits it as the best financial decision she’s ever made. “Renting gets a bad rap, but when you do the math, it’s actually cheaper to rent in most U.S. cities than it is to buy when you look at interest rates combined with prices. On top of that, you get to maintain flexibility. If there’s a problem, you can dial your landlord instead of having to sink more money into your home.”

Today’s market is also part of the problem. “Buying a home nowadays comes with constant turbulence—you find the property of your dreams, but then you have to fight seven people for it, as well as put in even more money than asking. You’ve then got property taxes and, if you can’t make the 20 percent down payment, there’s PMI or private mortgage insurance. In many cases, there are also HOA fees,” Dunlap explains. Again, you really have to do the math on what is reasonable for your finances and your future.

4. Go Partially In on Real Estate

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Dunlap and Winget both tout the modern option of co-investing in a property instead of owning it yourself. “Let’s say you want to buy a $500,000 house for yourself, but you don’t have $100,000 to spend on the down payment, but you do have $20,000,” Winget says. “You could buy an investment property or partner with other people to invest in the property as a way to get involved in real estate without buying property for yourself.” Co-ownership is also an option. Dunlap says she has friends in Seattle who bought a house with another couple. “They bought a house together and found a way to split it up,” she says. “This could be a duplex or one might live on first floor and the others live on the second floor. Of course, this only works with someone you financially and emotionally trust, but there are real estate options to consider even if you can’t go all in.”

5. Reevaluate Your Savings Goals Regularly

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Dunlap recommends a once-a-month money date where you sit down, cocoon yourself with your comforter (or your partner) and look at your money with a goal of making decisions. “The main question you need to ask is: ‘What do I want?’” she says. “It sounds ridiculous, but it’s about assessing how to use your money as a tool to accomplish your goals.” In other words, this is the moment to re-assess all your cash—down payment fund included. Maybe you need to play the long game to get the house you’re coveting, but maybe you want to rethink the way you’re directing those funds. “It’s about working backwards to get what you want. For some people that might mean admitting, ‘No, I don’t like living in one place, I want to be transient, I want to travel.’ For others, that might uncover the realization, ‘No, I actually do want to buy a house.’” Regularly assessing your financial goals and making them specific and trackable is the key to progress and, ultimately, wealth.

Quiet Luxury Is Out. Loud Budgeting Is In.

So let’s say you know that you and your partner could use some help in the finance department—where do you begin? We have three simple tips that range from the obvious (keep track of your numbers!) to the subtle (who knew financial talks needed to have time limits?) to help you and your S.O. live in financial harmony. Spoiler alert: Open and honest communication is paramount. “I was a therapist for years, and I found people would talk to me in great detail about their sex lives before they would mention a peep about money,” said Natalie, one of the speakers at our session. Here are the tips we learned for healthy money habits as a couple (and individually, too) that are useful no matter how much debt, savings or income you have.

1. Know Your “Numbers”

No, we’re not talking about how many people you’ve slept with. In financial terms, knowing your numbers means knowing exactly what you are spending your money on, day-to-day. Because, sure, you may know what your yearly salary is and how much your partner loves to nab a deal at Wayfair, but do you really know what is coming in and out of your individual and joint accounts every day?

Start by keeping a record of purchases large and small—from the parking meter coins to the new belt from Macy’s—in a dedicated space for three months. Don’t forget interest rates on credit cards, car loans and mortgage balances. While this sounds obvious, it’s often a blind spot for couples, stemming from family of origin issues or who knows whatever trauma drama from a person’s past. Whatever the cause of your financial turmoil, writing down funds flowing in and out of your household is the essential first step in gaining control of your finances. (One woman in the session we attended marveled that she and her wife needed to be told to do this step, even though both had graduate degrees. “My wife took organic chemistry in college, but still we couldn’t figure this out,” she confessed.) Couples suggested sharing cloud-based spreadsheets to log expenses, while others used free tracking apps such as Mint and Nerdwallet.

2. Say “Spending Plan,” Not “Budget”

Ask any couples therapist and they’ll tell you that words matter. Meaning that there are some words that strengthen your bond and others that can chip away at it. And to many people, the word “budget” sounds repellent, akin to “sock darning” and “dental drilling.” We don’t have any advice for making money talk sexy, but the experts do have a suggestion for making those late night finance convos a little more palatable—stop calling it a budget. Instead, you’re following a spending plan. And one that you put together based on what numbers you came up with after three months of expense notation. Additionally, the spending plan should prioritize self-care for you as individuals and as a couple, like vacations (the experts we spoke with actually told us to budget for them), exercise and other feel-good elements, not just paying the electric bill.

3. Have Regular Meetings about the Spending Plan...with Pre-Set Time Limits

Partners are advised to show up at a weekly or bi-weekly finance meeting with an agreed-upon 45-minute or one-hour time limit. This meeting duration is not cripplingly lengthy; in practice, this minimizes the emotionally charged reactions so many financial-avoidant couples experience when they finally sit down with their bank statement. A pre-arranged schedule of financial sit-downs rejiggers the whole spending plan enterprise. With regular check-ins, it’s no longer a scary, complicated monolith—these are simply workable, bite-sized sessions to tackle stated goals, such as a plan to reduce expenses and budget for big annual expenditures.

Several couples in the financial couples therapy session we attended said they initially got angry, tense and shouty in money talks—until they set a time limit. They also relied on short walks or a deep breathing if they found themselves emotionally dysregulated during a money meeting; they were then able to reset and return to the task at hand—financial happily ever after (or at least, more clarity and less stress).

46 Frugal Living Tips to Help You Spend Smarter

Meet the Experts

“They’re Repossessing the Jeep and I Need a Cartier Bracelet”: What I Wish I Knew About My Finances *Before* My Husband Died

First Thing’s First: People Are Buckling Down on Debt

According to WalletHub, the total consumer credit card debt has ballooned to $1.23 trillion, due, in part, to inflation and high interest rates. The company’s credit card debt survey revealed that nearly 60 percent of those surveyed reported having more debt than in 2023, and over 50 percent of respondents expected inflation to affect their debt in 2024.

However, the survey also indicated that debt management was top of mind. Over 80 percent shared that they would attempt to lower their interest rate and get out of debt this year. Coupled with the fact that last year we reported people were breaking up with friends who caused them to overspend, it makes sense that loud budgeting and frugality are in.

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Enter: Loud Budgeting

So, what is loud budgeting? The concept took off in this viral TikTok video (above), in which creator Lukas Battle explains that “If you know any rich people, you know they hate spending money. It’s almost more chic, more stylish, more of a flex. Loud budgeting has the same feeling as sneaking candy into a movie theater. You feel like you got away with something. You feel like you’re coming out of the situation winning.”

Alev puts it like this: Loud budgeting helps you focus on what’s best for you and not spending to keep up with other people. “In a time where it has never been easier to mindlessly scroll social media and doom spend along the way, loud budgeting puts you in control of your financial decisions.”

But what about this concept is “loud”? Well, money is often a taboo subject, and while it may be common practice to have a budget, it has also historically been common practice to quietly ditch it for the sake of “keeping up with the Joneses.” (Or, quietly ditching those friends who are causing you to overspend.)

Loud budgeting, on the other hand, is about saying out loud—yes, sometimes even to other people—what you do and don’t want to spend money on. As Alev explains, “By saying, ‘I don’t want to spend,’ or ‘I don’t want/need these things,’ you’re making a deliberate choice based on what’s important to you, and you’re spending within your limits.”

Fletcher adds, “With the shift of saving and budgeting goals going from being more private to now being more public with loud budgeting, people can feel camaraderie with their financial decisions.”

So What Does Loud Budgeting Look Like in Practice?

Let’s say friends are planning a trip to the French Riviera, and someone has floated the idea of luxury hotels. Instead of either getting pressured into the spend or making up a lie, loud budgeting is simply saying, “This isn’t in my budget. Luxury hotels aren’t a priority for me, and I’d like to use my money elsewhere. Feel free to stay in that hotel; I’ll find accommodations nearby and we’ll meet up.”

Or perhaps you’re asked to chip in for a group gift, and the organizer is asking for an amount that’s more than your comfortable with. Your response: “This sounds like a great idea. Thanks for asking, but I’ve already put together a present for them, so I’m going to pass on the group gift.” This way, you control the amount you spend and you’re loud and clear about it.

Ultimately, loud budgeting is about confidently and securely communicating that the expenses in question aren’t a priority for you, and that you’ll be using the money elsewhere. And as for all that cash you’re now saving? We suggest plunking it in your retirement account.

Married to Your Financial Opposite? Follow These 4 Rules

Here at PureWow, we wondered how this looked for our readers, and if it’s true that millennials and Gen Z’ers are more likely to log them than their older coworkers. So, we polled 67 women, from 18 to 58, to find out how taking days off for illness functions in today’s busy world.

PureWow’s Editor-in-Chief on the Top Trends of 2024…And How They Affect Your Wallet

Our three main findings? 1. We’re more likely to take work off for sick days than in pre-pandemic years. 2. Our respondents overwhelming acknowledged that mental health concerns factored into their sick days calculus. 3. Working from home actually complicates taking a sick day (at least in terms of vibes). Below, we’ll get into the nitty gritty.

Note: Most of the respondents polled reported paid sick leave as one of their employee benefits.

Post-Pandemic, We’re More Comfortable Taking Sick Days

More than 66 percent of respondents said they’re comfortable taking sick days, and 43 percent said they are more likely to take time off post-pandemic than they were before (28 percent reported that they have the same likelihood of taking a sick day today as they did pre-pandemic). Millennials were the most likely to report taking more now than four years ago and Gen X was the most comfortable taking time off for illness.

“Sick days used to be part of my total PTO for the year, so I would almost never ‘waste’ a PTO day on a sick day,” said one millennial respondent. “With unlimited PTO and the ability to WFH, I feel much more empowered to take sick days when I really need them.”

Mental Health Issues Are Health Issues

Overall, a large portion of our poll understood mental health to be a valid reason to step away from work if needed. Specifically, we asked respondents the reasons they take a sick day, with the option to choose as many as applies from the following:

41 percent of all respondents cited mental health as a reason to take off work. That's the same amount of women who cited fatigue, and more women than said they took off for family obligations and outside work. Only physical illness was cited more frequently as a reason to take off work. This focus on mental health showed up in answers across all generations—39 percent of millennials, 45 percent of Gen Xers and 50 percent Gen Zers said it's a valid excuse. And this squares with the American Psychological Association’s 2022 survey that found 71 percent of workers believe their employer is more concerned with their mental health than in the past and advocated for increased dialogue in the workplace around mental health.

“I try to have a very open dialogue with my manager when it comes to my mental health and work performance,” says one Gen Z respondent. “If I feel like I need to take a day to reset then I have no problem asking for it. I make sure to cover my work for that day and trust that my teammates will step in for me as needed, which is fortunately always the case.”

Work from Home Sick Days are Tricky

In our survey, we asked respondents to talk about a time when they wanted to take sick leave, but felt they couldn’t. Along with the expected reports of varying Covid outbreaks, we were struck by the number of respondents who cited their WFH setups as making taking sick days difficult, because it may be misperceived as a “day off.”

“Since working from home, I've felt the need to power through sick days more often than not,” said one millennial. “I'm lucky enough to not have to physically be at an office to do my job, so whether I'm sitting at my desk or downing cold medicine on the couch, I still try to power through.” A Gen X respondent agreed, saying she only takes sick leave “when I am too muddle-headed to work. I feel like since I work from home, it's easier for my taking sick leave to be seen as malingering.”

Bottom line? Women are taking their sick days and prioritizing their physical and mental health. But, as with so much in the post-pandemic hybrid-work world, it’s complicated.  

Here Are the 5 Things You Should Be Saving for in Retirement

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

What’s in for 2024? And what’s more out than a cronut in dad sneakers? And perhaps most importantly, how do you safeguard your finances so you’re not investing in the next flash-in-the-pan?

Last week, PureWow’s Editor-in-Chief, Jillian Quint, sat down with bestselling author and personal finance expert Jean Chatzky on her podcast Her Money to talk New Year’s trends—from the eye-roll-inducing (Gingerbread Girl) to the downright empowering (hell yeah, menopause positivity), along with the ways you can make them work with your budget.

Listen to the episode to catch all the trends, and be sure to sign up for the free Her Money newsletter to get more money-saving news and time-tested advice.

Meet the Expert

Lorna Kapusta is the Head of Women and Engagement at Fidelity Investments. She travels across the country speaking at seminars and empowering women to take control of their finances. Previously, Kapusta was a vice president at American Express. She holds an MBA from New York University's Leonard N. Stern School of Business.

Married to Your Financial Opposite? Follow These 4 Rules

1. Medical Expenses

According to one study, women live, on average, about six years longer than men. That means they may shoulder more medical expenses over the course of retirement, and as we all know, healthcare isn’t cheap. According to a study conducted by Fidelity, women often underestimate the amount of savings they’ll need to put towards medical care. Women typically expect to set aside $98,000, but the more accurate sum, according to Fidelity’s retiree health care cost estimate, is $165,000.

That’s a lot of money and you may be wondering where to start. Kapusta says the best things you can do are to start saving as early as possible and take advantage of a Health Savings Account (HSA) if they’re available to you.

“HSAs offer a ‘triple tax advantage’ meaning contributions are tax-deductible; account money can be spent tax-free when used for qualified medical expenses and any potential growth is tax-free, too,” she explains.

2. Long-Term Care

Hand in hand with medical expenses is long-term care, which the $165,000 figure doesn’t account for. The Department of Health and Human Services estimates that there is a 70 percent chance someone 65 or older will require long-term care.

“Services like in-home care or assisted living can cost upwards of $50,000 a year,” Kapusta notes. “So many of us have experienced this with our parents and may have had to contribute ourselves, so now is the time to put some extra money away to avoid passing those costs on to family and loved ones. “

3. Desired Retirement Lifestyle

Yes, retirement could mean that you basically live on a cruise ship 300 days of the year...but you have to have budgeted for that lifestyle. Kapusta says it’s important to evaluate what you want your retirement to look like so that you can plan for the anticipated costs of maintaining that standard of living.

“Think about what you want to achieve in retirement—it could be living in a retirement community, buying a small boat, even traveling more,” she elaborates. “This is why sitting down to think about those goals and working with a financial professional to estimate your monthly expenses in retirement is so critical. We work so hard throughout life and deserve to have the retirement of our dreams.”

Another thing to consider is college gifting. After all, you may already be saving for your own kids, but if you end up having grandchildren, you may want to contribute to their education as well. (Student loans are no joke.) “But remember, you can always take out loans for a child's education. You can't take out loans for retirement—it's still best to prioritize yourself,” she advises.

4. The Impact of Caregiving

“In terms of financial considerations, most people look at the cost of childcare or helping an aging loved one vs. the cost of stepping out of the workforce,” Kapusta says. “It’s important to know that there are implications beyond just salary. People often do a 1:1 comparison against their take-home pay, but it’s much more than that.”

She explains that by stepping out of the workforce, you lose, in addition to your own 401(k) or 403(b) contributions, the “free money” in the form of your employer match, plus the compounding growth overtime. You’re also no longer contributing to the Social Security system, and what you receive is calculated on your highest 35 years of earnings. In order to qualify for this benefit, you also have to have worked for a minimum of 10 years.

“To look at a hypothetical scenario, if a 35-year-old woman making $75,000 took just one year away from her career, she could have almost $160,000 less in retirement savings by the time she’s 67 years old,” Kapusta illustrates. “When you consider how much women need to save for healthcare in retirement, for example, that can make a big difference.” Of course, childcare needs are different for every family. Just bear in mind the implications of the decision as you weigh the pros and cons.

5. The 4% Rule

The Wall Street Journal wrote that the four percent rule is back, and Kapusta affirms that it remains best practice. The rule states that you should withdraw no more than four percent of your savings in the first year of retirement.

“In general, we recommend that you withdraw four to five percent of your initial retirement savings, but that should be adjusted if you plan to retire earlier or later than age 67,” she says. “Ideally, your essential expenses could be covered by Social Security or other guaranteed income sources such as annuities, as these keep up with inflation, but again, women typically receive less in Social Security benefits so it’s still important to save. Non-essential expenses could be covered by your savings or investment income, but if the market goes down, this is where you might want to cut down on spending to avoid cutting into your day-to-day living expenses.”

We’re Living in a Cashless World—Here Are 3 Rules for Teaching Kids the Value of a Dollar

The Best Gift Ideas For 2023

Meet the Expert

Darius Kingsley has been the Managing Director and Head of Consumer Business Practices at JPMorgan Chase & Co. for nearly 7 years as well as Managing Director and General Counsel, Mortgage Banking for about 4 years prior to his current role. Between 2009 and 2013, Kingsley held two roles in the U.S. Department of Treasury, one as part of the Senior Counsel and the other as Chief Housing Policy Advisor in the Office of Financial Stability.

1. Holiday Charity Scams 

According to a study done by AARP, this is the most common scam that holiday shoppers fall prey to each year. The best way to be on the lookout? Notice what type of payment the website or caller may be asking of you, says Kingsley. If the answer is wire-transfer, gift card or prepaid card, steer clear. And if you get solicited in person or on the phone, make sure to ask where, exactly, your money will be going. If the person is vague, or admits only a small portion goes to the charity in question, just say no. (For what it’s worth, here are some charities we feel good about giving to.)

2. Package Delivery Scams 

These scams take the form of phishing emails where the scammer disguises an email using a UPS, FedEx or USPS lookalike format with a service link to view and claim a “missed delivery.” The fake links are meant to mimic typical sign-in pages of the respective companies and are designed to get you to share personal login information or unknowingly download malware. Your best defense is to ignore any texts, calls or emails asking for personal financial information. “This includes asking you to send money or cryptocurrencies to avoid a service interruption or to receive your delivery,” Kingsley advises.

And remember: USPS offers a free redelivery scheduling service on their site and will never request or require a redelivery fee. UPS and FedEx have information on their website regarding delivery changes and requests as well.

3. Online Shopping Scams 

A brand new MacBook for only $150? If an online offer seems too good to be true, it probably is, and scammers will often use a fake deal to lure in shoppers, extract personal and financial information and then never send the item in question. “Buy directly from a retailer’s official website and avoid websites offering unrealistic discounts on popular merchandise, concert or event tickets,” Kingsley warns. Additionally, be sure to make payments themselves on sites and platforms that you know to be trustworthy and never veer off of those platforms to close a deal with a private seller.

4. Gift Card Scams 

While gift cards sure do make a great stocking stuffer, they’re also a prime target for scammers who, again, will get you to pay for something (in this case the gift card) with no intention of actually sending it to you. Your best defense, says Kingsley, is to purchase them directly from trusted companies or through reputable sellers like grocery stores, CVS or Walgreens. And never never never buy a resold card, even if the deal seems good (scammers often lurk in local swap sites that trade discounted gift cards.) Finally, be on the lookout for text messages and emails from unknown or unsolicited senders who offer to send you gift cards—these are used to track spending activity. 

5. Travel Scams 

Though we absolutely love “experience gifts” like a trip to somewhere warm and tropical, we also need to be prudent about our bookings. Particularly since, thanks to savvy scammers, it’s increasingly easy to create and mimic the style and look of popular sites. They “re-create familiar branding, logos or company verbiage,” Kingsley explains, prompting you to click to buy something—like airline tickets or hotel rooms—that never existed in the first place. Always make sure you’re on a company’s actual website, even if it’s not the top listing that comes up on Google. And if you suspect a scam, take a moment to look up unfamiliar names and companies, searching in tandem with terms like “scam,” “complaints,” and “reviews.” Additionally, when you do make a travel purchase, request a copy of the cancellation and refund policies to ensure you’ve read through any loopholes, know exactly what you’re paying for and what you’ll receive before finalizing payment. If the seller is unable or unwilling to provide you with this information, it’s an immediate sign to walk away from the translation.

What To Do If You Think You’ve Been Scammed

First of all, remember that they can and do happen to anyone. (Hi. Hello! It’s me, the person writing this article who has been scammed multiple times! A $1 redelivery fee for a USPS package requested via phonecall at 6:30 am. I mean, c’mon!) 

Secondly, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Contact your bank to verify recent transactions and, if necessary, cancel cards or file claims.“You may consider reporting the incident to the FTC at ftc.gov/complaint,” Kingsley recommends, also noting that “Chase Credit Journey offers free credit and identity monitoring; you don’t have to be a Chase customer. You’ll receive an alert if your personal information has been leaked in a data breach or shows up on the dark web.”

In other words, ‘tis the season to be cautious.

Holiday Shoppers Are Set to Be Extra Spendy This Season—Here are 3 Red Flags to Watch Out For

The Demographics  

Of those polled, approximately 47 percent were aged 23-30 and 53 percent were over 30. The majority (60 percent) have outstanding student loans, while about 16 percent had loans but have paid them off and 24 percent had no student loans to begin with.

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Paula Boudes/PureWow

When it came to public vs. private education, most of the respondents reported attending a private university (65.7 percent). Some participants also noted that they had obtained graduate degrees, too.

So, what did they do with those degrees? The majors were diverse, from psychology and communications (including journalism, English and creative writing) to business, math, economics, nursing, computer science, medicine, dance, theology and international relations.

The Money  

Now on to your burning question: How much do they make? Reported salaries ranged from $0 (due to unemployment or entrepreneurship activities) to around $400,000 (reported by a mechanical engineer with an MBA). The majority of survey participants made under $100,000.

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Paula Boudes/PureWow

Of those with student loans, most (40 percent) owe $50,000 or less, but there is a sizable chunk of the group with over $100,000 in loans (17 percent). Payments also vary. Due to various payment plans and COVID policies, some survey participants shared that they haven’t made loan payments in years. Of those actively paying, amounts ranged from $100 to $2,000 per month.

One of the big topics in the national discussion about student loans is how it affects borrowers’ long-term financial plans and standard of living. Our survey respondents offer a microcosm of experiences from across the spectrum.  

“Not having loans is a tremendous privilege,” one respondent writes. “It’s something I think about a lot since most of my peers do have loans. [My siblings have loans and] I know it weighs heavily on them.”

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Paula Boudes/PureWow

Another (the mechanical engineer) shared that at the time that they did have loans, they made specific lifestyle choices (driving an older car, not going out much) in order to prioritize paying down the debt. “I paid them off at 2-3x the required payment amount. I lived VERY lean for three years, paid them off and now have the ability to fully invest in myself and further my career. With my salary, I still drive a pretty average car and live in a home that I can easily afford so that I always have the full flexibility of my choices.”

And then there’s the predicament that most find themselves in—the burden of student loans that prevents them from saving for a down payment on a house, qualifying for a lease on an apartment, necessitating several part-time side jobs and siphoning money away from retirement accounts. That’s just for starters. “I literally can hardly afford to put a thing away due to the cost of living,” one person writes. “I just think the interest payback is awful.”

The Hot Takes: How the Government Should Handle Student Loans  

So what do our readers think the government should do with all this student loan debt? There are generally three camps. Forgive it all, forgive for certain groups of people and have people repay in full. But as the endless back-and-forth at the federal level proves, there’s not one straightforward answer, and the responses to this survey reflected as such. The only conclusion: The majority believe that there should be loan forgiveness in some way, shape or form.

“It’s not really cut and dry,” one participant writes. “I have a combination of federal and private loans. I understand the private loans are my responsibility. However, the federal loans should not have interest accrue when you’re in college. It makes no sense that the government or people they contract with are allowed to charge so much interest.”

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Paula Boudes/PureWow

Another echoed the sentiment, writing that the situation is nuanced and necessitates further conversation on the affordability of higher education. “I think we have backed ourselves into a corner with this debt. Moving forward, there needs to be serious talk of taxpayer dollars funding some type of free public higher education. If student loans are forgiven in full for all, I would be happy with that. I just fear that it will be a Band-Aid solution to a much larger problem."

Most agreed that the price of going to a university and the loan system is crippling, calling for reform. One proposed forgiveness for public universities and low-income students. Another suggested income-based repayments up to a certain amount. Yet another proffered the idea that there needs to be more accessible pathways to degrees for necessary jobs that might not compensate fairly (for example, education).

When it came down to it, the majority voted for full loan forgiveness (59 percent), followed by forgiveness for certain groups of people (33 percent). Just over seven percent believe everyone should pay what they owe, with 1 percent abstaining. Of those who were in favor of full loan forgiveness, 37 percent were aged 30 or under and 45 percent made $75,000 or less. The only clear thing? It’s complicated.

The Infidelity Poll: 60 Women on Cheating, Being Cheated On and What Happened Next

About the Expert

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Courtney Alev is the consumer financial advocate for Credit Karma, a personal finance company that offers resources and tools for everything from everyday money management to taxes and even home buying.

1. Beware Black Friday (and Cyber Monday) Promotions on Overdrive

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

At the exact same moment holiday music starts getting piped into stores, your inbox floods with eager beaver Black Friday alerts, sale prices and BOGO deals. “Consumers are pulled in every direction during the holidays and we can be blinded by the overwhelm of it all,” Alev says. “What seems like a good deal may turn out not to be, but it’s also the number one reason to be intentional about your holiday spending.” Indeed, it’s this last chance mindset that can cause us to upend our budget. “Social media ads are getting smarter every day, so I make it a policy for myself to never mindlessly purchase anything online,” Alev says.

Instead, start the season with a set list of what you want to buy, whether that’s for groceries or Black Friday purchases. Then, if you see an item from your list that’s on sale, go for it. But don’t go off-book just because you see a “good” price.

2. Budget for Inflation

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

At the current rate of 3.2 percent, inflation is lower than last year, but it’s still making nearly every aspect of the holidays more expensive. “Prepare to make more room in your budget this year for items beyond the gifts like food, entertaining and travel,” Alev says. For example, holiday fixings like sweet potatoes and ham are up by as much as 5 percent this year, and Christmas trees are still facing an increase by as much as 6 to 8 percent. If you notice a higher-than-typical price, factor it into your holiday budget, even if you have to ballpark it. This can help you make adjustments early—say, suggesting a White Elephant gift exchange or adjusting your travel plans to non-peak days . “The more you can anticipate and save in advance, the less of a pinch you’ll feel at the cash register.”

3. Pay Attention to the $$$ You Spend Treating Yourself

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

According to reports, there are two categories where spending is up: Holiday décor and consumers with the urge to treat themselves. Of course, it can be easy to justify that adorable tree skirt or spiced latte, but the key is to stop and ask if you’re buying something that’s a nice-to-have or a need-to-have. Alev calls this the FOMO Test. “When you’re about to hit ‘buy,’ ask yourself if you’re buying it because you truly want it or if you’re spending on an item because it’s trendy or you’re just trying to keep up with your friends,” she says. “Will you be excited about the item in two weeks, two months or two years from now?” You can also counter over-swiping by creating a dedicated holiday savings account. If the funds in that account run low, you’ll know it’s time to pause.

Got Bougie Friends? Here Are 5 Ways to Keep Your Own Spending in Check While You’re With Them

That’s not to say that I don’t know how to open up my wallet. It’s more about approach: He’ll shell out regularly for little purchases (a $9 mustard, a $30 video game) whereas I’ll prioritize zero(ish)-spending for a stint, then splurge on pricier items like a fancy moisturizer or new coat.

Still, if you are financial opposites, how do you play to each other’s strengths, while also staying financially aligned? We asked Aja Evans, a money expert and financial therapist, for her advice.

Meet the Expert

Aja Evans is a licensed therapist who has worked in the mental health industry for more than a decade. Financial therapy is a pillar of her work—in particular, how we handle stress and anxiety as we navigate our relationship with our money.

1. First, You Have to Open Up About Your Financial Past

Evans maintains that, if you’re financial opposites, it’s worth sitting down with your spouse to dig in deep on the origin stories and emotions behind your individual approaches to spending and saving. “Money differences in a marriage aren’t always just about the numbers,” she says. “Finances bring up questions about how you were raised and that can get very emotional.” And the way you were taught to behave financially (say, always paying off a credit card bill, but going into debt for education) might strike you as “right” and your partner as “wrong”. But, per Evans, if you have someone always coming in and saying, “Hey, that’s wrong!” it can feel like a personal attack on you and your parents, which can spark defensiveness and anger.

2. Then Write Your Financial Autobiography

To help her clients align on their spending and saving habits, Evans suggests they each write down their earliest money memories. “For example, ‘My family will never be able to afford or buy a house,” or ‘The people who spend that much money on a car must be this rich.’” Jot them all down, then take time to reflect on the facts behind them and what those money beliefs are doing to you and your partnership. “The point is to question the reasons these core money narratives—now marital differences—became so ingrained in the first place.”

From there, you can assess if your historical beliefs still apply to your current situation and what you should hold onto and what you should let go. “It could be something as simple as, ‘Hey, when I was growing up, I saw my parents nickel and diming themselves through these tiny little purchases. That meant we weren’t able to go on vacation later on. As a result, I would rather save for the bigger ticket items that I’m actually excited about.’”

3. If Spending Habits Differ, Look to the Future and Align on Your Goals

In a marriage, we tend to review money in terms of the mistakes—the dollars spent or the splurges that went too far. (Guilty!) But if you’re on opposite sides of the spending habit coin, it can be helpful to meet regularly to get on the same page about your shared value categories and goals. “It’s paramount that you know your spending priorities as a couple,” Evans says. “You also need to be open with the other person about the individual non-negotiables that you want to spend your money on.”

For instance, maybe you’re aligned on forgoing your theater subscription and instead saving for a bathroom renovation, and that that bathroom renovation should cost between five and ten thousand dollars. But maybe you’re not aligned on your husband’s $200/month rock climbing gym membership. In that case, you need to figure out how to address his non-negotiable. “This could mean setting up personal accounts that are funded monthly for those individual (and happy-making) items that matter, but can feel reckless as you work within your budget,” Alternately, she suggests working within spending limits. “If you’re going to spend over $200 on a purchase, a conversation is required,” Evans says.

The top priority for financial opposites? Avoid passing judgment. “During your monthly money dates, try to lead with curiosity vs. blame,” she says. “The more you can understand each other, the more likely your money differences can balance each other out.”

4. Never Relinquish Control of Your Finances

Financial opposites often end up simply deferring to one person’s method. We’ll never be on the same page anyway, you think, I’ll just let them handle everything. That’s a big mistake, warns Evans. “No relationship should ever create a situation where one half of the partnership is saying, ‘Oh, I don’t know what the money is doing. I don’t know where our retirement stands.’” This doesn’t mean you have to look at your finances daily or even weekly—although it’s not a bad habit to start—but a monthly understanding of the state of your accounts and debts is important for both sides. After all, lack of knowledge can lead to conflict, but awareness can create room for middle ground. “The goal is to limit financial misunderstandings,” Evans says.

And as for my husband and me? Let’s just say the conversations about $9 mustards have become way more productive.

Tipping Poorly, Venmo Nickel and Diming and 3 More Financial Icks to Watch Out for in Your Relationship

But, in truth, this “doing it all” mentality had been brewing for some time, thanks to the rise and fall of the #girlboss, the Sheryl Sandberg ethos of leaning in and the overall culture of non-stop productivity and achievement. Heck, the former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer famously worked from her hospital bed the same day she gave birth to twins.

The message: As women, our ambition has no limits. You say jump, we say how high!

Enter the Soft Girl. This TikTok-born trend is a deep-rooted rejection of the desire and determination to achieve. Burning the candle at both ends—sacrificing ourselves and our personal aspirations—just to snag the corner office, which ultimately leads to even more burnout and perhaps even a fall from grace at the height of success, as experienced by so many female leaders in the 2010s? No thanks.

The Soft Girl—who is largely Gen Z—wants nothing of the sort.

Take this TikTok definition of the soft girl lifestyle: “I don’t want to be a girl boss. I don’t want to hustle. I simply want to live my life slowly.” Another TikTok’er explains that the “soft life is having time, space and protection to heal the feminine. Soft life is romanticizing every moment of your day. Soft life is releasing the compulsion to produce and accomplish.”

Countless videos illustrate what the soft girl lifestyle looks like: Long walks, cups of savored coffee, lengthy skincare routines, leisurely read books. Basically, it’s a lifestyle that prioritizes well-being over the hard, corporate ladder.

It’s not that we don’t applaud those efforts, but we also have to wonder who is funding the Soft Girl? Is it a man (hello, #tradwife)? Is it generational wealth? Is it all the savings she accrued from her previous high-paying high-stress career? The reality is that most women can’t afford to not work. Simultaneously, all those efforts to grind grind grind aren’t exactly leading to a financial windfall or a reprieve at the end of the tunnel. Something’s gotta give.

Still, the soft girl life hints at something we all want: better balance. “The instinct to slow down and re-examine our relationship to work is a good one,” says Ximena Vengoechea, author of Rest Easy: Discover Calm and Abundance Through the Radical Power of Rest. “But it requires deeper reflection than merely swinging the pendulum to the other extreme, as the Soft Girl aesthetic does.”

Instead, the Soft Girl movement should help us raise important questions about our values—in particular, how we can build healthy relationships with work, productivity, family and pleasure, Vengoechea says. “There’s a benefit to pausing to examine why we feel the way we do about work, ambition and rest. Where do these feelings stem from? What can we do about them, outside of opting out completely?” The answer for each of us will vary.

Bottom line: Soft Girl extremism isn’t the answer to the woes of the #GirlBoss. We can rest and still be ambitious, says Vengoechea. “The Soft Girl life suggests that embracing traditional gender roles, having kids and going back to a strictly domestic sphere is the solution, but life is a lot messier than that. Raising children is work. Maintaining a marriage is work. Managing a household is work. To romanticize those things as ‘not work’ and suggest that they are ‘feminine’ is to play into old cultural narratives about a woman’s place in the world.”

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And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Of course we want our children to understand the value of a dollar. But in an increasingly cashless world—you know, one where we tap or click to pay—how do we communicate the role money plays in our lives? To find out the best approach, we spoke with Jacqueline Howard, head of money wellness at Ally Bank, about how to make money a household conversation from a young age.

About the Expert

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Jacqueline Howard is head of money wellness at Ally Bank. She’s also a leading voice in financial health and wellness (and the mom of two kids).

1. Talk About Transactions, Even When They’re Virtual

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Let’s say you’re shopping at Target or grabbing a muffin on the way to school. All your kids see is you swiping your debit card. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk it through. “Tapping to pay is part of our culture now, so if that’s how you’re paying, tell your kid that,” Howard says. “After a transaction, ask, ‘Honey, do you know what this is? This is a debit card and this card lets me get money from my bank.’ Then, ‘Do you know what a bank is? A bank is a place that I put my money and it keeps my money safe.’ Finally, ‘This debit card is very important because it’s connected to mommy’s money that’s in the bank. That’s how we’re able to buy things.’” Per Howard, you don’t have to go much deeper than that. The goal is to help with understanding—even a simple explanation can help your kid develop a foundational relationship with money and spending.

2. Enlist Your Kids’ Help in Making Low-Stakes Money Decisions

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

Learning the value of the dollar comes with spending practice, which means we need to give our kids the chance to actually buy things. But, whether they’re spending their own money or simply begging for yours, Howard says it’s important to have a conversation together about the value of said purchase. For example, Howard’s daughter loves Squishmallows. She acquired one, two, three, four Squishmallows. The joy! But after the fifth Squishmallow, Howard said it was time for a conversation. “It’s asking, ‘Do we really need another Squishmallow or is there something else that we can save for instead?” A lot of people avoid these convos with their kids or shut the discussion down with an authoritative “nope,” but according to Howard, “the goal is to step in as an authority and discuss the reasons we’re not going to overspend on one thing.”

Similarly, Howard’s son loves DoorDash. “The conversation has become, ‘Can we afford DoorDash as a family? Yes. Is this a good use of our money for you to DoorDash something that is $20 every day? No, it’s not.’” The best balance, she says, “is to allow kids to make some of their own low-stakes spending decisions, then as a parent insert yourself at the right moment so that they can learn to be good stewards of their money.”

3. Give Kids an Allowance

And Wait—There’s a *Huge* Giveaway

We’re living in the age of Amazon delivery. (Raise your hand if your kid also thinks that, poof, any time they need something it’s delivered to their door next day.) Howard says that an allowance is one of the best ways to help our kids achieve clarity about how much things cost, what’s worth saving for and how you make transactions. “I like the spend/save/give approach,” she says. “Go to the store and get clear Tupperware containers and let your kids decorate them and label them, spend, save and give.” Then, on a weekly or biweekly basis if you can, distribute an allowance.

In Howard’s household, she started when each of her kids turned six and based the amount on their age. (This means that her daughter, who is 7, now gets $7 a week.) “She puts $2 in ‘spend’ and $2 in ‘give’ and the rest in ‘save,’ Then, from an early age, you’re helping them to develop their values and the idea that, sometimes to get what you want or need, you may have to save for it.”

“The reason why I suggest clear buckets is because kids need to see actual money,” she says. After all, even if you don’t use much cash anymore, “there’s an excitement for kids when they watch their ’save’ buckets grow or hold onto some money in their ‘spend’ bucket because they know they want to buy something special.”

But what if they want to spend that physical money on a virtual thing (say, a new game they download from Nintendo)? “In this case, I would recommend charging it to your card, then they pay you back from their ‘spend’ bucket,” Howard suggests. “The virtual world can be fun and exciting, but it’s so important for parents to explain to their kids that buying things in the game does still require real money.” Howard also recommends making use of parental controls so kids can’t always just click to buy.

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Yikes, I’d somehow forgotten to make the payments on my late husband’s car, and here we had a man attaching a winch to the front bumper and my tween son yelling, “Don’t take my daddy’s car!” in the street in front of all the neighbors.

So, even though my husband had briefed me repeatedly on what accounts he’d set up, what policies he had taken out, it’s not like I was really prepped for the financial realities of death. I was barely prepared for the “one less person living there in the house with us” part of death, and just staying awake and alert enough to interact with my son and friends and colleagues felt like running a daily marathon. And now I’m supposed to weigh the merits of competing Investment Retirement Accounts? No thanks, all set there.

What This Has to Do with You, Non-Widowed Person

If you’re thinking “what does this have to do with me?” here’s a pitch to keep reading: According to a recent study conducted by wealth management firm UBS, 85 percent of women manage everyday expenses but only 23 percent take the lead when it comes to long-term financial planning. What’s more, 80 percent of women will become the sole financial decision-maker at some time in their life, and many widows will spend a long time at the helm of their finances. And here’s the capper: Half of all women who become widowed in the US are under 59. As the average life expectancy of women is 79, these young widows can expect to manage their finances by themselves for at least two decades.

So, let’s do a thought experiment. Say your partner is taken out of your family’s life today—how would you pay your bills for the next five to 50 years, and meet any children’s needs until they’re adults? Unless you can say you’ve got a solid plan, then my experience may help you. Because when the worst day of your life happens, if you’re anything like me, you’ll have a deer-in-the-headlights reaction at best and some downright counter-productive ideas at worst.

Here's what I encourage you to do: use a slice of your marvelous married time making a financial road map so that, should the unthinkable happen, you can devote more time to your thoughts and feelings and tribe, and less to the amount of money left on your car loan. Below, four tips I learned the hard way.

Don’t Commit to a Big Spend for at Least 90 Days

At my friend’s memorial service for her 40-something husband—he had died of cancer leaving her with two young sons—she repeatedly floated the idea of all of us taking a girlfriend’s vacation in Paris. I’m not sure what the other women thought, but my internal monologue was all, “what is she talking about, there are these two little boys and a job and that’s not real life and….”

Ultimately, I decided she was suffering from “grief bananas.” That’s a syndrome I invented to describe when grieving people think up bananas-insane ideas that are impractical, illogical and maybe even illegal. All of her friends could see these bananas for what they were, and, when asked if we’d be up for a Paris trip, just smiled and changed the subject, hoping she’d stop asking us to go to Europe. And eventually, she did.

Some time later I had my own version of grief bananas, when I became obsessed with the Cartier love bracelet. As I looked at doctor bills and my comatose husband in the midst of cancer agonistes, I told myself I would get myself said bracelet when he died. I deserved it, damnit. But my friends knew better, listening to me ramble on about why I wanted a $7,000 hunk of gold, agreeing vaguely and moving on to other subjects. In the end, I did not purchase a Cartier love bracelet (although, hello French luxury goods house, I’m so open to gifts!). It wasn’t because I didn’t crave it, but entirely because it wasn’t in my single-mom budget and because I put off the decision for enough time. I just told myself, I’ll get it next week, next month, until the desire for a big splurge to take away all the discomfort/terror dissipated. A big basket of grief bananas for me!

According to financial planner Natalie Colley of Francis Financial, a wealth management and financial planning firm dedicated to women in transitions such as divorce or widowhood, this travel-and-splurge impulse is common. “You’ve been nonstop running on empty emotionally and in every way possible,” she says. “A lot of women in such situations have a similar impulse to go off the grid.” Instead of making an impulsive move prompted by Big Feelings, Colley recommends working with a grief counselor to talk through the underlying emotions so that they can understand and resist compulsive impulses. In my case, I gave myself an arbitrary cap of purchasing anything non-essential over $100 for three months, buying myself not a Cartier bracelet but instead time itself to attend a cancer caregivers’ grief group. There I expressed the discomforts, insecurities and confusion that I thought looking down at a gold bracelet would protect me from. After 90 days, I (almost) forgot about the jewelry.

Make a “Money Stuff” Timeline

The first month or so of my widowhood, I split my waking hours worried about my impending penury and feeling confused by what money needed to go where and where said money would come from. On especially energetic days, I’d make a real effort to start sorting through papers to look for that form or this password, then come upon some relic of the past that would render me aphasic, weepy or dissociated. When I’d calm down, I’d feel exhausted and have to lie down (I decided this was a healthier choice than my other best coping ideas, chardonnay at 10 a.m. or an entire cheesecake as a mid-afternoon snack). Then post-nap, the last thing I wanted to do was go anywhere near that box where I’d stumbled upon the “I love you Daddy” paperweight.

After a few cycles of this, I lost track of tax deadlines and car registration renewals and miscellaneous bills. If I had it all to do over again, however, I’d mark up an inexpensive calendar with weekly goals: This week, find all the mortgage paperwork and deadlines and note them on the calendar. The next week, find his-and-hers credit card statements and determine a payment plan. The third week, make an appointment with an accountant for a tax filing. And on and on.

This tip sounds so simple as to be idiotic, but in the fog of widowhood, the idea of breaking down tasks was as elusive as the proof to Fermatt’s Theorem. In retrospect, a simple timeline would have saved me the mounting self-loathing that comes from financial avoidance, as well as some dings on my credit rating.

Find a Money Professional and Get Your Paperwork in Order

This tip is often vaguely alluded to as “consult a financial advisor,” which is about as helpful as saying “get a guru” or “start dating.” Oh right, I’ll just wedge that in between the work and home repairs and needy children, thanks. But in reality, I asked friends for the names of their financial advisors, scheduled appointments and even read a Suze Orman book or two. It was uncomfortable at first, but I got better at my planning and now take pride in my ongoing financial curiosity. For instance, thanks to my planner, I now care deeply about my debt-to-credit ratio, Roth IRA and monthly budget. (Words my 30-year-old self never thought she would say.) What’s more, I’m learning that regular attention to these matters helps me to see them as opportunities instead of stress bombs.

You’ll also need a lot of financial documentation at the ready, and there’s one online resource I wish I had known about earlier, called Unveiling the Unspoken Truth: The Financial Challenges Women Face During and After Divorce and Financial Help for Widows, that can help with that. Request it from Francis Financial—in exchange for sharing your email, you’ll have access to a PDF that lists exactly what paperwork you should gather. For example, you’ll want more than a dozen certified death certificates to send to accounts you’ll need to close. And if possible, for your first visit with your advisor, you’ll want to bring two years of tax returns, as well as a list of your monthly living expenses, so that you can have a clear idea of your assets and liabilities. The goal is to have six months of living expenses on hand, according to Francis Financial, though this can vary according to your financial situation.  Meet with your advisor sooner rather than later, because along with monthly bills that need paying, there are a few tax deadlines that are important—for example, if an estate tax filing is required, it needs to be submitted within nine months. Additionally, widows are eligible to file in a more favorable tax status for two years after a spousal death. Other paperwork you’ll need includes year-end reports from mortgage banks, receipts from medical bills (both paid and outstanding) and records of investment dividends.

Expect Less

Finally, what I’d wished I’d know before I undertook the financial planning of widowhood was that I should expect less. Not less money or less happiness or less satisfaction (although, sure). I mean expect less life perfection. For example, I expected my son would have two or more parents to see him graduate from high school, but instead, the three of us got an elementary school diploma to celebrate together. I expected to make the right financial choices, and enjoy my preferred outcomes. Instead, I made tons of mistakes large and small, which are the parts of the story I often remember first, but in fairness I also manifested wins. And not to get too philosophical, but the mistakes often led to the wins.

Mistake: I didn’t have the presence of mind to put my late husband’s life insurance payout into any high-yield financial vehicle. Win: By not locking that money into, say, a five-year fund, I had liquidity to spend on some much-needed family mental health expenses. Mistake: I am a terrible record-keeper. Win: I doubled-down on paper-pushing and refinanced into a lower mortgage rate one month before rates began rocketing upward.

And that Jeep that got repossessed? Here’s the rest of the story. In the months before my husband slipped into the aphasia-then-coma that served as this irascible, charismatic man’s life coda, he would continually worry over how to handle the months left on his car lease. “You won’t need two cars, but the contract says it has to be paid off, but I don’t want to give up the car now since I can still drive, maybe we can sell it, can we get the dealership to take it back…” and on and on.  That car lease revved doughnuts in his consciousness, as I tried not to notice the weight slipping off his body, the household shouting, the fear bouncing between us three.

The win? After my husband’s death, and after the man with the winch came to carry the Jeep who knows where, I got a letter saying something to the effect that yes the Jeep was taken, and since it had been under my husband’s name, under state law there was nothing more to be done—no more payments to make, no more contracts to break, no more thinking about that car and how I was going to pay for it. I’m sure I could have handled it better—the Jeep lease, the money, the marriage, all of it. But today, I’m able to plan ahead in a way I couldn’t before, and to not be so afraid of the future. After all, the worst has already happened. And look, even in my imperfection, I survived. Reader, that win is more precious than rubies.

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But is it smart?

Amber Carlton, a real estate agent based in Fargo, North Dakota, who is a top seller for HomeLight, an online platform designed to simplify the home buying and selling process, says waiving your home inspection is situational, but when in doubt, you want to have one before signing on the dotted line. The risks of skipping it are vast since a home inspection will help you detect what costs, repairs and maintenance the home may require immediately and over time. It also presents the buyer with one final chance to walk away from a sale based on any changes to their understanding of the investment.

All that said, Carlton says there’s a work-around if you’re in a rush to make an offer: Bring a basement specialist to your initial property walk-through instead.

Sure, it requires some up-front logistical planning—mainly, having a basement specialist on speed dial that is willing to meet you at the time and place of your initial visit to see a prospective property—but it’s a solid alternative to a traditional home inspection since a basement specialist can assess the home’s foundation, one of the most critical areas should it be in need of repair. “With this info, you should have a better idea of whether or not it’s smart to proceed with making an offer,” Carlton says. “It should also give you a bit more peace of mind when it comes to waiving a traditional home inspection.” (In a lot of cases, basement specialists can accurately provide an estimated cost for any repairs, too.)

What if the place you’re buying doesn’t have a basement, say, like a condo? It’s still worth asking the seller if there’s a possibility of bringing a basement specialist along to see the bones of the building, so to speak. A qualified basement specialist can assess things like the potential for mold and mildew, signs of termites and any risks of flooding. (You could also share the property listing with the basement specialist ahead of asking them to join you to make sure their presence at the home tour has value.)

As for finding one, a quick Google search brings up several options for basement specialists or experts that can help with this request. So, if your dream home pops up in your real estate search, flag it to your realtor immediately and let them know that you’d like to do a bit more info-gathering on your tour if possible.

Time—and hopefully—money saved.

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A recent installment—which garnered over 6 million views on TikTok—applied Girl Math to a listener’s indecision about investing in a full set of linen bedding valued at $656. The hosts of the show helped her reason through the splurge. They looked at the number of items included (4 pillows, a top sheet, a bottom sheet and a duvet, so 7), then they assessed that cheaping out on a less luxe set could be costly, too. (“Her partner runs hot, so now you’re sweating through whatever cheap sheets you’re going to buy instead and the mattress protector…which will run you $200 to replace,” one of the hosts explains.)

Finally, the cost-per-use is evaluated: If the listener were to use the sheets 365 days a year and you round the total cost up to $700, she’s getting a good night’s sleep for $1.90/night. Divide that with her partner and you’re down to 95 cents. “It’s basically free!” the hosts proclaim.

But is Girl Math brilliant or offensive? We asked a personal finance expert to weigh in.

About the Expert

Kelly Ann Winget is the founder and CEO of Alternative Wealth Partners, a private equity company based in Texas. She’s also the author of Pitch the Bitch: Grab Your Financial Future by the Bags.

1. First Things First: A Quick Refresher on the Rules of Girl Math

The New Zealand radio segment is pretty clear about the logic of Girl Math, but Tik Tok explainers—like this viral series from user @thebobmarleyy——abound. Some of the more commonly surfaced rules include:

• If you return an item, the refund you receive is basically free money or a profit

• Anything you buy with cash is free

• You’re losing money if you don’t shop at your favorite store when there’s a sale

• If something is less than $5, it’s free

• If you’re shopping and it will cost you $10 more to get free shipping, even if the shipping is $4, you should spend the $10 dollars because it’s a better investment

• Anything in your Venmo account that someone paid you back with is free money

Some of these rules might feel financially problematic—they are—but a quick reminder from Winget: Girl Math is meant to be fun. “Women are taking ownership of the thought process and rationalization of discretionary spending and that’s a good thing,” she says. “The conversation isn’t, ‘Do I pay rent or go to a Taylor Swift concert?’ It’s, ‘I’ve already bought a Taylor Swift concert ticket and this is how I’m rationalizing it in my brain.’”

2. Why Girl Math Is Kind of Brilliant

Humor is one of the core values of Girl Math. But to legitimize the concept for a minute, think of it this way: a creative approach to mental accounting and applying rationale to the way we use our cash.

For example, let’s discuss the found-in-your-Venmo-account rule. “On some level, this concept is the same as a secret account you kept from your spouse,” Winget explains. “Maybe you used the shared family credit card to pay for dinner, but then your pals pay you back for drinks on Venmo. It’s viewed as a separate asset, which is where the ‘free money’ concept comes in.” In other words, it’s your little secret, and as long as it’s not large sums you’re hiding, it’s all in good fun.

Winget also supports Girl Math as a way to free up time for busy women. Think: using it to assess the cost of a Dyson hair dryer. “Yes, they start to break it down by the cost per strand, but the core argument from the listener is that it saves her 30 minutes a day. That’s a huge value and outweighs the dollar amount because of X, Y and Z. It’s also what gets calculated as part of Girl Math,” Winget says.

Finally, Wignet thinks of it as a productive way to consider bigger investments—say, buying a rental property. “If it’s going to cost me $100,000 and my expenses add up to $20,000 per year on insurance and taxes and whatever else, that makes sense,” Winget explains. “But then if I do X, Y and Z, I can earn $50,000 a year renting it out. And that $50,000 becomes $30,000 because $20,000 is going to the extra cost of paying down that $100,000 investment. But after a few years, I’ll have free money, right? Again, that’s pretty much Girl Math.”

3. But Is it Problematic?

If you’re using it to justify purchases that will put you in the hole, that’s a problem,” Winget explains. But she’s clear that Girl Math isn’t likely to be a gateway to bad spending habits. “If that’s the case, you likely already have a lack of self-control when it comes to your cash. Think of it this way, if you are labeled as someone who should never go to Vegas, you should stay away from Girl Math.”

4. One Final Defense of Girl Math

Girl Math is mainly about figuring out how purchases fit into your financial picture. That doesn’t preclude you from having a solid approach to money management, budgeting and debt, but the women who are using Girl Math know that it’s silly, but they’re in on the joke. “It’s about openly rationalizing our spending decisions, which is empowering,” says Winget.

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1. What Does It Mean to Buy a House with All Cash?

No, you’re not rolling up to a closing with a suitcase full of money, Trapasso explains. All-cash offers still go through banks and official financial channels. “Most cash buyers are investors, such as home flippers and landlords or the wealthy, who can afford to purchase a property without a mortgage loan or other financing,” Trapasso says.

Other examples of all-cash buyers: Someone who is selling a home and can use the profits to purchase another one or someone who received an inheritance from a family member or was able to cash out their stock options. “Sellers often prefer all-cash offers because of the perception that these are ‘safer’ and the deal is less likely to fall apart,” Trapasso adds. “That said, that isn’t always the norm as all-cash buyers may offer lower amounts or pull out of the deal last-minute.” Bottom line, per Trapasso, the traditional home buyer still has ways to compete.

2. How Can a Traditional Home Buyer (aka One with a Mortgage) Stand Out?

Yes, a cash-offer is incredibly desirable to a seller—but guaranteeing a quick closing, offering a higher down payment or waiving contingencies are all ways for a traditional home buyer (meaning a borrower) to compete. “Sometimes just putting in the highest bid is enough,” Trapasso says. “Buyers should strive to make it as easy as possible for sellers to choose their offers.”

A lot of times this comes down to doing your research—for example, choosing a lender that can offer a quick close can put you on equal footing with an all-cash buyer. Same goes for the down payment. Trapasso says that stand-out offers that are at least 20 percent or higher can bring a traditional home buyer’s offer to the top of the pile, even when faced with those that can pay in full.

As for waiving your home inspection, this can be helpful when it comes to clinching the deal as it means the seller won’t be on the hook to pay for (or credit the buyer) in the face of significant repairs. That said, it’s a choice you want to make sure you’re comfortable with. “I don’t recommend this as there can be major and extremely expensive problems—things like a cracked foundation or plumbing, roofing or electrical issues—in a home that aren’t visible to the naked eye and can cost tens of thousands of dollars to fix,” Trapasso explains. As a work-around, Trapasso suggests opting for a structural and engineering inspection instead, which signals to the seller that you are only looking at the big things in a home and won’t nitpick over small repairs.

Traditional home buyers can also waive appraisal contingencies. “This means that if a buyer offers $550,000 for a home, but the home only appraises for $500,000, you’re on the hook for coming up with that extra $50,000 or you will lose your earnest money deposit,” Trapasso says. Again, before you waive this right—which gives you the option to walk away from a sale or negotiate with the seller—you want to be sure your real estate agent has thoroughly reviewed the comps (i.e. how much comparable homes are selling for within the last three months in the area). “If you are comfortable parting with that much extra money should the appraisal come in low, then go forth,” Trapasso says.

One final way to sweeten the deal next to a cash buyer: Let the seller know you’re not in a rush to move in. “Buyers who have flexibility with their move-in date can offer a seller the opportunity to stay in their home after it closes or rent it at favorable terms.”

3. Are There Workarounds to Come Up with the Cash?

There are a couple of ways to get creative, says Trapasso, but they’re risky and need to be thought through. For example, a buyer could take money out of their 401(k) to fund their home purchase, but Trapasso doesn’t recommend this. “In some cases, buyers could be faced with a 10 percent early withdrawal penalty if they are under the age of 59.5 years old, depending on how they take out the money,” she says. “They’re also potentially losing money they will likely need in retirement or earning returns on it.”

Another option: Buyers can consider a company that allows them to make an all-cash offer on a home. “These companies exist, but buyers may wind up paying more over the life of a loan than they would have with a traditional mortgage,” Trapasso says.

A Final Thought on the All-Cash Offer Real Estate Trend

Don’t forget, having a mortgage can be a savvy financial move since there are tax benefits, but you can also leverage the cash you hold onto by investing it. (Read how the celebs do it here.) In addition to that, all-cash offers have declined ever-so-slightly since last year, according to the National Association of Realtors, who sites that 26 percent of all home sales in June 2022 were paid for in cash compared to 25 percent in June 2023. Other challenges like low inventory and higher home prices remain, which means it’s still not an easy market for anyone, but relying on some of the workarounds above can help your offer stand out.

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Meet the Expert

Myka Meier is an etiquette expert and founder of Beaumont Etiquette, which offers courses on British, Continental European and American etiquette. On her website, MykaMeier.com, she discusses modern etiquette, beauty, wellness, travel and the British royal family. Meier has studied at multiple etiquette schools and trained under a former member of The Royal Household of Her Majesty the Queen.

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As showcased in the NYMag article, there is often a snob mentality around tipping—if you can’t afford to tip, don’t go out. That disregards diverse life circumstances that would compel someone to order takeout or eat in a restaurant. Meier says that because tipping is customary, you shouldn’t skip the practice—but you’re not bound to tipping the maximum.

“As long as people are tipping within the range of what is considered a customary or standard tip amount, then all people should be able to enjoy a meal out,” she says. “I also think that many people do tip higher on the range, or even above, so it does usually even out in the end.”

What Is a ‘Standard’ Tip?

That then begs the question: what constitutes “standard” anymore? With opinions and numbers fluctuating, it can be hard to tell.

“Let’s look at what standard tipping truly means. The word ‘standard’ is defined by something used as a measure, a norm, or a comparative evaluation,” Meier notes. “Therefore, the American standard tip amount is the overall norm of the country, which has been 15 to 20 percent since 1938 when President Roosevelt signed the Fair Labor Standards Act about minimum wage, which also led Congress to codify a tipping practice.” She does emphasis that geographical location matters, though. Standard tips in large metropolitan areas, like New York, would sensibly be higher than a smaller city in the Midwest.

It’s All About Expectations

Despite “standard” amounts, receipts regularly offer pre-calculated tips at up to 30 percent. Meier says this may be a lingering effect of the pandemic, when it was encouraged to provide extra compensation as a way to recognize that workers were putting their health at risk. “The pandemic lasted for such a long time that it became normalized to then tip service personnel in that way. That said, post-pandemic we are now dealing with inflation. The practice of tipping 15 to 20 percent was standardized so that even with inflation, as prices of food, products and services increase, the tip would also increase, as it was a percentage of the inflated price,” she explains. In short, if you can only do 20 percent, that’s fine. If you want to call out truly exceptional service and do 30, 40, 50—that’s also fine. “If someone wishes to tip more to show gratitude for excellent service, then it’s a wonderful and generous gesture, however it shouldn’t be expected.”

As for those expectations, Meier puts her foot down on tipping for items like bottled water, or in situations where it was previously not standard to tip, like the coffee counter or dry cleaner. If you are given the option to, know that it’s not mandatory. Of course, if you think the service was truly extraordinary, Meier says that it’s a great way to show gratitude.

In traditional tipping settings, she does add that if restaurants and stores want customers to tip at a certain amount, it is crucial to convey this expectation ahead of time. This ensures that the customer doesn’t feel blindsided and can choose whether or not to patronize the establishment.

“Often now restaurants will include, upon booking, in their terms and conditions, that a party or table will have a mandatory gratuity baked into the final bill (especially for large groups). I think this is a great way of telling the customer upfront that a certain tip is expected ahead of time, and if that person does not agree, then they don’t book a table at that establishment.”

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What is Simple-Sizing?

As the term suggests, simple-sizing refers to people’s inclination for simplicity and contentedness in their day-to-day. Survey results show that 87 percent of those polled rated “simple living” as a priority, while a third shared that they have taken intentional steps towards doing so. “Most agree they want to focus on what’s necessary versus what’s ‘nice to have,’ simple-sizing their lives by deprioritizing clutter and excess,” the report states.

When asked about what makes an “ideal life,” people responded by prioritizing a healthy lifestyle at number one, followed by time with loved ones, time for themselves, and being environmentally conscious. The lowest priority? Making a lot of money. With the move to uncomplicate many areas of life, how does this affect how we’ve perceived the dream home?

How Simple-Sizing Is Shifting the Idea of the Dream Home

If the dream home used to resemble something like Beverly Hills, 90210, it’s now more like Tiny House Nation. “Americans now are desiring smaller sizes and simpler style/design,” the survey says. “Other common requests for a dream home include location preferences and a strong desire for a quiet place farther away from businesses and other people.”

So where are people flocking to find this new dream home? According to Opendoor broker Jennifer Patchen, Texas takes the cake. The cities of Cypress, Katy, Forney, Aubrey, San Antonio and Leander all appear in the top ten most popular zip codes, according to the company’s data. Other cities of note: Clarksville, Tennessee; Yukon, Oklahoma; Summerville, South Carolina and Parker, Colorado. And the math adds up, too. If the “dream home” used to be in a coastal city like Los Angeles, buyers would expect to pay somewhere north of $875,000. But choose, say, a Texas city on the coast, and you might find a median list price of $350,000—over 50 percent less.

“These neighborhoods are on the rise thanks to their spacious living and small-town vibes, among other factors,” Patchen explains. “Many of these zip codes are close to major cities—but not right in the center of the action. This tells us that homeowners are looking for neighborhoods and communities with developed amenities but are further outside of heavily populous areas where they can also achieve a more relaxed and peaceful lifestyle.”

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